perilous ➳ jensoo [on hold]

十九 ( j i s o o )

my best friend and her girlfriend disappeared somewhere during my conversation with jennie and i was left with bobby who came back to me a couple of minutes after jennie left. "what did she want?" he asked me as soon as he sat down and i could smell the alcohol from his breath.

"nothing, we just talked." i replied and scooted closer to him.

he nodded and wrapped his arm tighter around me. "you tell me if she ever bothers you, okay?"

i nodded, but i knew that would never happen. she would never hurt me, at least not intentionally or without reason. the rest of the night was sort of boring. i mean i talked to some people and i saw nayeon, jeongyeon, the two girls jeongyeon drove around (chaeng, who had the same name as my best friend and momo) as well as five of their best friends, sana, mina, jihyo, tzuyu and dahyun.

nayeon introduced me to some other jyp high students. i don't really remember many names, but there was a group of 7 boys, another of 6. then, one of the boys from the group of 7, jackson introduced me to some sm high students.

again, i wasn't that good with names, but they were introduced to me as groups. there was a group of 5 girls, two of which i remember were called amber and krystal because they were like the cutest couple ever. there was also a group of 5 girls in which there was another couple, wendy and irene if i remember correctly. lastly, there were a group of 12 boys, another with 5 and one last group with an incredible number of boys that i lost count, but one was called ten.

i also met some graduates of sm high from a few years ago, 9 girls and 11 guys. they were at the party since they were the ones who used to throw them (along with groups of students from yg high and jyp high) when they were students and they continued to take the responsibility for it, but never really partied anymore. i was apparently at the biggest annual party called 'the big 3'.

i was exhausted by the end of the night after meeting so many people. bobby held my arm as i stumbled a little due to the alcohol in my system. "woah, calm down a little." he chuckled and pressed his lips on mine.

"thanks." i giggled and held on to my boyfriend. "i should go back home." i started to walk to the front door. chaeyoung told me lisa's driver would drive me once i called his number which was saved in my phone before the party.

"aw come on, stay a little." bobby told me and pulled me back. he placed another kiss on my lips, but a little more ferociously this time.

i struggled to pull away, but i did. "no, i really should go. i'm tipsy and i'm tired."

bobby groaned and pulled me with more force. i had no idea where we were going and didn't have enough strength to get out of his grip. i don't know how, but the next thing i remember is being in a bedroom with the door open. i was pinned to the wall and my back hurt from the force bobby used to pin me there.

his lips were on my neck and his hands held mine next to my head so i couldn't push him. his whole body weight was on me. "bobby, please stop." he didn't listen to me. "please, i don't want to do this... not right now."

"come on, we're together already. it doesn't matter." he returned to my neck as soon as he finished his sentence.

"no, it does matter. stop." i said sternly and started to panic because he wasn't stopping and i felt a certain body part of his rubbing against me, signaling he was enjoying this very much.

he was too strong and i had a little too much to drink. i closed my eyes and let a single tear fall. this was how my first time was going to happen and i wouldn't have a say in this.

i tried once more. "bobby, please stop." i pleaded.

"hey, the lady told you to stop. do you not understand what 'no' means?"

that wasn't me.