perilous ➳ jensoo [on hold]

二十一 ( j i s o o )

bobby had called me and asked to meet up a week later. we were sitting at a cafe and he was holding my hands in his. "i'm so sorry for last night, jisoo. i didn't mean to do that. i was just really drunk." he said sincerely. i nodded my head. i would've said that it's fine, but it really wasn't.

the rest of our time at the cafe was really awkward. we didn't talk much and every time he tried to grab my hands afterwards, i unconsciously pulled away before he could reach me which made things even more uncomfortable.

i didn't know why i was reacting this way... well, no i did, but i didn't want to admit it. i was afraid. i was afraid of him after what happened that night and i couldn't get over the fact that i no longer felt safe in his arms. 

"why did it take so long for you to call me and meet up to apologize?" i asked after we both paid for our order. "it took you a whole week for you to call me and apologize, bobby."

"i know... i just didn't know what to say."

"you didn't know what to say?" i frowned. i wasn't expecting a full on heartfelt reason, but i expected something more reasonable. "what do you mean? it took you a whole week to figure out how to say 'i'm sorry. i didn't mean to that'? you could've said sorry the moment you were sober."

by the end of the day, we broke up and i was a little disappointed our relationship didn't go as far as i had hoped, but my mind kept going back to this one person and it wasn't bobby.