perilous ➳ jensoo [on hold]

三十一 ( j i s o o )

jennie has been involved in a car accident... fuck. shit. what the fuck.

she can't be that injured right?! i mean she can't die right now. there is so much out there for jennie kim to achieve. she isn't even 20 yet. her life has just begun, there is no way for her to pass away now... right?

"jisoo?" nayeon called me.

"i love her and i never told her." i said while staring blankly in front of me. "she doesn't even know that i love her."

i saw nayeon and jeongyeon exchange looks in my peripheral vision. "i'm sure she does. sometimes, things don't need to be worded out to be felt." jeongyeon said and put one hand on my shoulder.

we had arrived at the hospital an hour ago. we were in a very plain waiting room of this gigantic hospital. we were told that jennie had a ct scan and everything seemed fine regarding her head, but the impact of the hit had obviously caused internal bleeding in her abdomen and was rushed to the operating room (or as the surgeons kept saying 'OR').

so for now, all we could do was wait. just wait... but i can't just sit here. i need to see her. i need to tell her everything i'm feeling because this can't be the end. i want to have hope that she will make it through, but i have way too many shows to know that there is a very big chance that... she won't.

"jennie's a fighter. she'll make it through." jeongyeon tried to reassure once more, but until i would see her perfectly fine, i don't think my mind or heart will be able to rest.

soon, there was commotion and that was the one and only park chaeyoung making her entrance. she ran towards me and hugged me the moment she was in proximity.

"oh my god!" she muffled into my hair. "lisa just told me everything that happened and i came here as fast as possible."

i chuckled at my frantic best friend and hugged her back tightly. i was so glad to have her by my side. don't get me wrong, nayeon and jeongyeon are great company, but having chaeyoung with me is something else.

"thank you so much, chaeng." i whispered.

we pulled back and she smiled gently. "always." she greeted the two others and we both sat down. "so, any updates?"

just as i was about to shake my head, two doctors were walking towards us. "are you friends of miss jennie kim?" one of them asked.

"yes we are." i answered and stood up along with nayeon, jeongyeon and chaeyoung.

"i'm doctor seo and this is doctor choi and we both operated on your friend, miss kim. she was in surgery due to internal bleeding as you have probably been told and everything was smooth sailing during the whole procedure. the anesthetics are still kind of in her system, but she should be up in around 40 minutes."

"thank you so much" we all thanked both of them.

"would it be possible to see her now?" i asked, hopeful to just see jennie's face again.

"of course! i have to attend another patient, but doctor choi can lead to miss kim's room."

lisa, nayeon and jeongyeon opted to wait outside so that i could have a moment to myself with jennie, but i insisted chaeyoung had to accompany me because i would not survive 40 minutes with an unconscious jennie by me side. i would go crazy as the minutes passed by, still worrying if she would be okay afterwards.

so the two of us followed doctor choi as he walked down several corridors that all looked the same to me. the tall doctor stopped in front of room 808 and he bowed nodded with a small smile on his face. "here's your friend's room. if you have any further questions, you can ask a nurse to page 'doctor choi minho' and i'll try to come and help you if i'm not busy."

we thanked the doctor before we all entered the room.

there, we saw jennie laying on the hospital bed and she never looked so small and fragile with all these machines connected to her body through cords. doctor choi explained to us on the way that there would be seem to be a lot of cords attached to her, but they looked scarier than they actually were since they were mostly just to check her vitals and give her oxygen.

jennie looked so peaceful as the machines kept beeping next to her at a steady beat. and i wondered if she was as relaxed as she looked.

she put up this cool and badass image out for herself, but over these past months, i've learned that she is so much more than what she claims to be. jennie kim isn't just a badass. she is a woman with a good heart and a kind soul, with a touch of cynicism. she's had her hardships and that's what made her into who she is.

her parents may not see just exactly how much she is worth, but i see it. i see it all.

"daydreaming about your girlfriend, jisoo?" chaeyoung's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "just wait a little longer and then she'll wake up. after that, your daydreams will become reality... just you know, wait 'till we get out of the room before you do that."

"yah park chaeyoung, stop it." i hit her arm. "i don't have dirty thoughts okay... and we... we aren't even girlfriends yet." i whispered that last part.

"you what?!" chaeyoung almost yelled. "when that girl wakes up, you better move because i'm gonna whoop her ass for not asking you out yet. what the hell has she been waiting for?"

"chaeng! i'm the one who asked her to take it slow. i had just broken up with bobby a while back and i didn't want to get into a new relationship so fast. she's just been respectful of my requests."

chaeyoung nodded and narrowed her eyes and jennie who was still unconscious. "you're lucky today, jennie kim. i know you're not awake right now and you might not hear me, but i'll still go on with the cheesy 'if you ever hurt my best friend, i will hunt you down' line."

"you do realize that you are not at all intimidating right?"

"i should have you know that i am very intimidating."

"yeah right." i scoffed and sat on one of the chairs for visitors.

"i can be! and jennie would be intimidated by me if she were awake."

"i think you mean the opposite."

"of course you think jennie's would be intimidating to me. you're into her 'badass-ness'."

"i'm not just into that side of her."

"because jennie has a another side?"

"yes, she can be... soft."

chaeyoung raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "jennie kim soft? no."

"i'm not lying!"

"you're just blinded by love so you think she's this lovey dovey girl."

"i'm not blinded by love."

"oh my god, look at that idiotic grin. you are so in love with her that you turn into a fool just by thinking about her and talking about her."

i blushed, but still couldn't tear the smile off my face. i did love jennie. i didn't realize it before, but i know now for sure what my feelings are.

"for the record though, i'm glad she makes you this happy."

"me too." i said and looked at jennie.

a/n: lil update for y'all! so yeah as i said a few days ago, i'm done with my product for my personal project, meaning i have a little more time now. i still have a huge chunk of school work left, but hopefully i'll make it through. :) again, it would awesome if you guys could visit my blog (about kpop slang): www.k-sesang.tumblr.com and maybe answer my survey as well bc i need visitors so that i can consider my project a success lmao. if you're from outside of canada, that would be even better bc i need to have visitors from at least 6 different countries. anyways thanks again for being hella patient with me!