Small Town Southern Charm

Chapter Twenty

 One minute I was sitting on the couch minding my own business then the next thing I know I’m dancing on top of the dining room table. People were all around me cheering and taking pictures, I was kind of enjoying the attention that I was getting. I was swinging my arms around and laughing. Until I seen someone standing in the door way of the house looking around like a lost puppy. I got down from the table to get away from him but the only way out was the door he was standing at. I didn’t want to talk to him right now, I was furious at him.

I pushed my way through the crowd and when I got to where he was blocking the path I shoved him out of the way. He whipped around to see who had just shoved him and when his eyes landed on me, he looked scared.

“Don’t look at me.” I said through gritted teeth.

“Tara, look.”

“I SAID DON’T FUCKING LOOK AT ME!” I yelled. “I DON’T WANT YOU FUCKING AROUND ME, GET OUT OF HERE AND AWAY FROM ME! GO FIND SOME OTHER GIRL THAT IS WILLING TO FALL FOR YOU! YOU USED ME AND BROKE MY FUCKING HEART!”

I was slapping him and punching him until someone pulled me away from him. I hadn’t realized that I was crying until Josh wiped my tears from my face. I furrowed my face into his neck and just bawled my eyes out. How could he leave for months and just come back like everyone wanted him around?

“Why Josh? Why is he back?” I cried.

“Shhh, don’t think about him. Shhh.’

I didn’t say anything else to Josh right then because of all the crying. I cried and cried then I cried some more. I just couldn’t get his face out of my mind, who the hell did he think he was?

I thought you were mad at me and left?” I asked Josh.

“I couldn’t leave here knowing that he was back.” Then all of my surroundings began fading away.

I woke up the next morning with swollen eyes and a pounding headache. I looked around and I was in Jody’s apartment, in her living room. Jody and Josh were both sleeping on the floor beside the sofa where I was. Then all of the memories from the night before all came and hit me in the face. He was back, he was back and he was just going to make things even worse.

I eased up from the sofa slowly to make sure that I wouldn’t wake the two of them up. I went into the bathroom and when I looked at the girl staring back at me I felt sick. Why was I letting him win? I couldn’t let him win this, I wasn’t going to let him just waltz back into my life after months of no word from him. I got into the shower and let the water take over all of my thoughts. I found a few minutes later that for once a shower wasn’t going to help get all of the anger out, I needed to talk to him. After I got out of the shower I went to Jody’s room and took some of her clothes.

Josh and Jody thought that I should just wait until I had cooled off a bit before talking to him but I couldn’t. I needed to do this, I needed to do this for me. I pulled out my phone and texted that number that I hadn’t even looked at in months.

Meet me at the diner in an hour. We need to talk.

With that I got in my truck and drove to the diner. I hadn’t been back to that diner since we went to celebrate me getting a job. I just couldn’t take all of the memories that came to my mind. I wanted to forget everything that had happened in the past year. I couldn’t do that until I talked to him though.

When I pulled into the diner the first person I seen was him. He was leaning against the building, one foot propped up on the building and was looking down at the ground with a cigarette hanging in his hand. When I slammed my door shut, he looked up. He flicked his cigarette butt into the other direction and began walking towards me.

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me.” Was the first thing he said to me.

Don’t let him win, Tara.

“Talk. Tell me why you fucking left.”

“I had to.”

Stay on track, Tara.

“You had to leave me, just leave me wondering why the hell you just up and left?”

“Taralyn, I..I had to.”

Don’t let him lie to you, Tara.

“Bullshit, I told you that I liked you and you just fucking left me.”

“You didn’t like me, you thought you liked me. You are always going to have feelings for Josh and I just can’t take that.”

DON’T LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU, TARA!

“I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS FOR JOSH ANYMORE, OKAY?! HE’S MY BEST FRIEND, I WOULDN’T HAVE TOLD YOU THAT I FUCKING LIKED YOU IF YOU DIDN’T.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Do you know how many nights I spent crying, trying to figure out why you left, huh?” I yelled. “All the nights I would just drink and drink until I didn’t know where the hell I was? All the nights Josh and Jody stayed with me because they were fucking scared of what I might do? All the nights that they stayed with me because of what I did? You have no idea all of the pain you have put me through, Johnny.”

He took a step towards me but I wasn’t letting that happen.

“NO! NO! DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO SOOTHE ME! YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL OF THIS! I WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO ME AND TELL ME YOU WERE SORRY AND THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT NOW I CAN’T FUCKING STAND YOU!”

“Tara, calm down, please. I can explain if you’ll let me.”

“Fine, go for it. I already know it’s going to be a bunch of bullshit.”

“What I have to say is not bullshit, it’s the truth. I left because it was killing me to know how much you cared about Josh. I wanted you to feel that way towards me. I was just your friend when you were every fucking thing to me. Tara, I’m not lying when I say that I love you more than I have ever loved anything. You don’t know how many times I packed my things and was going to come back to you. I wanted you in my arms, I wanted your lips on mine again. I had to leave because I thought I was doing you a favor. I wasn’t in your way anymore, you could finally be with Josh without me being there to make you change your mind. I know I messed up big time and I don’t deserve to be in your life, but I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I am worth it.”

Welp, Tara, there goes your walls.

I stood there trying to hold back my tears, trying not to let him see that he had won. That he had just made me believe every single word that he had just said. He didn’t even have to make me believe because the look on his face said it all. I could actually see all of the regret on his face, it was like it was written all over his face.

“I don’t expect it to happen overnight but is there any chance that you’ll forgive me?”

“I can try.”

The truth was that I already had forgave him. I didn’t have to think twice to know the answer to that. I had forgave him the minute I heard his voice when he was explaining himself.

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Hope you liked! This was a fun chapter to write!!

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Xoxo J