A crap ton of (mostly) lams one shots

Dryer

"Alexander!" I scream out to my husband. "Do your laundry!"

"Noooooooooo!" He screams back at me.

"You've been wearing the same shirt for a week," I shoot. "Do your laundry." He groans, but I hear him get up and trudge down the stairs.

I sit around on my bed, waiting for my petite husband to jump onto the bed as well, but it never comes. I sit up, and a single tear rolls down my face.

"Why do you have to be so comfy, dear, sweet, bed." I coo. I walk down the stairs, and then down another set of stairs, and into the basement.

"Alex?" I ask. I'm met with a muffled "Hi." I walk into the laundry room, to come face to face with my husbands but sticking out of the dryer.

"Alex what are you doing?" I pause, looking into the washing machine. "And why is my son in the washing machine?"

"Well one, it's so waaaaaaarm." He draw's out the a. "Two, I have no idea." I open the washing machine door, and look in.

"Philip, why are you in the washing machine?" I question the 9 year old.

"Because other dad was in the dryer so I wanted to be in here," He responds, a plain expression on his face. I chuckle, rolling my eyes and reach in to help him out. He squirms around, in the little room he has. Philip eventually gives up, and lets me grab him and pull his small frame out.

He giggles and runs out of the room, leaving me alone with my husband. "If you get up, than I will ,make you dinner." I bribe.

"No." He responds.

"Philip can go stay at my mom's..." I pause, running my fingers up his back. "And we can have some alone time to play Mario..."

"That does sounds tempting." He say's. "No."

I groan and roll my eyes.

"Why are you so difficult." I question.

"You're the one that married me." He snaps backs

"Then I guess I'll just have to take your clothes." I state. He shakes his butt in response. I walk closer to him and take of his left shoe.

Then his right.

Then his socks.

"You sure you want me to do this?" I question.

"You've seen me naked." He responds.

I shrug and pull off his belt.

"DAD!" Philip screams running into the small room. "I GOT A- ew what are you doing?"

"I was uh trying to pull dad out of the dryer." I stutter out. He gives me a 'sure you were' look.

"I will let you go back to that," He winks and backs out of the room.

"Jesus Christ that's your son." 

***

This was boring but oh well. thank you guys so much for 1.3k reads I can't believe that.  

Also my crush did a presentation on Lafayette to my class. if that isn't love then god just kill me.