all the things I never got to tell you.

11

We are n'er like angels till our passion dies.
Thomas Dekker (16th century)

Dear Ashley,

I'm sorry that I haven't written in some time. I've been distracted, I guess that's good though. There's this boy who I'm really into, his name is George. He's tall and blonde and has crystal blue eyes. Yes he's cute, but he's really smart and funny and he isn't one to judge. It's really easy to talk to him and even easier to get into a debate with him, which is always fun to do. This is why I've been distracted. Boys, boys, boys, a young ladies weakness. Something that grabs ahold of her and makes her forget how to think or speak clearly. They cloud thoughts and make life difficult, but what would we do without them?

For awhile I stayed in the background, not wanting to be seen but after while I started to show myself. This led to getting his number and talking at all hours of the night. I like him a lot.
*
He asked me to the dance! Ahh! I'm so excited! After talking one night about the dance and about each of us having no one to go with he asked me. I'm nervous but excited.

Moms excited to meet meet him while dad doesn't want me to have a date. He still wants me to be his little girl, and I am, but I'm growing up. Billie was happy for me, I've been talking about him for some time now. We're still just friends, I honestly don't think I want to start dating. Not that I'm not ready or anything, just that I don't think that's something I need in my life right now. I'm just fine with how things are and I'm not looking for change. Plus this is middle school, it won't be anything serious, it'll just be some silly little thing that'll end before I have the chance to blink. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited.
*
The dance was awful to say the least. I looked terrible and was so nervous. I stayed away from him almost the entire time, not that he cared anyway. I'm honestly kinda thankful that we only danced a few times and hung out here and there. I didn't want to feel like I was tied to him and I didn't want him to feel that way either. I don't think we ever could've been more than what we are now. We're just friends and that's perfectly fine with me.

Besides the dance, things seem to be going okay in life I guess. I still don't enjoy things that take place in the real world but I'm starting to see some of the good in the world. I want to make a difference no matter how big or small. I actually have an idea already. I've been planning a talent show for the school. I still have a lot of planning to do and I have to talk to the principal but I think it'll be worth it.

I've pulled Rain into my plan and she's been helping me work on it. We've even been working on how to pitch the idea to Mr. Cottingham. I really hope he likes the idea, I've worked so hard on it.
*
He said yes! Rain and I talked to Mr. Cottingham and he likes the idea. He's even helped work out some of the kinks. We're going to have people sign up for auditions and hold them next week! It'll be Rain and I and two teachers holding the auditions after school one day. Then, at the end of the week we're going to have a school assembly and hold to talent show for everyone to see, even the newspaper lady will be there.
*
Today was the talent show! It was so much fun. I was nervous at first to talk in front of the whole school but it was worth it. Everyone had such a great time and they were happy to get out of class. We even got our picture taken for the newspaper.

I was really nervous that the whole thing wouldn't work out but I'm really happy that it did. I'm even happier that I went through with my idea and shared it with Rain and the principal. I don't know if I would've been able to do it alone. A lot of people thought it was really cool that I organized the whole thing and that it was my idea. Some people don't care but their opinions don't bother me, I'm proud of myself and so is my family and that's all that matters.

Ashely, I hope you were awake and watching from up above, I think you would've enjoyed it as much as I did. I think you'd be happy, or at least I hope that you are. I guess I can tell myself that you'd be proud too even though I'll never really know for sure.
                       Sincerely,
                               Jesi <3