The cry of my body for completeness. That is a cry for you.
Mary Carolyn Davies (early 20th century)
Dear Ashley,
Tristen is in Japan. I miss him dearly. I just want to be with him already, this feeling I have right now, I do not like. I just feel alone and empty. The other day we were waking up next to each other and getting ready for a wedding. Now, he is in Japan and we can only talk early in the morning when I wake up and he's getting ready for bed. Sometimes we can talk when he is waking up. I really miss him.
I don't like how he acts around his friends. He's not really sweet to me anymore and his entire persona is just different. I still love him dearly when he is like this, I just don't really want to be around him. It's like everything about him changes. Maybe that's a side of him I'm still learning about. I don't want to lose Tristen I don't know if it's fair of me to stop him from doing some of the things he wants to, like smoking or being a pilot or vaping and other stuff.
I don't know if he resents me for that. I also don't know if he requires or will one day require me to believe in God. I don't want to let him down, but I don't want to be forced into beliefs I wouldn't have just on my own. I don't understand why it's even such a big deal that I don't have the same beliefs about God that everyone else does. It doesn't make me a bad person. I'm not going to hell. I believe there is a God or higher power other than ourselves, I just don't believe all that nonsense in the Bible.
I feel like people look down at me for the way I see the world. People look down at me for my appearance. My hair is a funky color, I'm too tall, too skinny, yet too fat as well. People will judge you or think you have no control over, like your eye color, the size show you wear. Fuck.
5.31.16
11:11 pm
Jesalique JD Graham
YOU ARE READING
all the things I never got to tell you.
Saggistica"I like that I can read this in a child like voice for the beginning and that it's descriptive yet secretive." "I have so many things to say, but I'll start with, this was amazing. You seriously depicted every emotional turn with such great detail a...
