Apocalypse [Pentatonix AU | Kavi / Scomiche]

Chapter 50 - Forgiveness

The sun was falling ever lower in the sky, the forever ironic sunset emitting a dim light that shone across the forest and into the ramshackle house. Mitch sat on one of the stone windowsills, halfway in the shelter and halfway out. He stared out at the burning sun, wondering how long it would continue to burn after he was gone, after they were all gone.

These meaningless questions helped distract him from the other much more important questions that were plaguing his mind.

The first was the question of when Avi and Kevin would return. It had only been three or four hours since the two had left camp, but still Mitch couldn't help but worry. It was rapidly growing dark, and he knew all too well how easy it was for people to disappear into the night.

The second was the question that Mitch was continuously avoiding, for weeks now.

When could he forgive Scott?

Unfortunately it didn't have an answer, not a simple one at least. As much as Mitch wanted to forgive the man he loved despite everything, as much as Mitch needed to forgive him, he truly didn't know how. Scott had done the unthinkable. Not only that, but Mitch felt personally and completely betrayed.

Guilt went hand in hand with betrayal. Every time Mitch felt anger bubbling up over the fact that Scott had kept his secrets long after Mitch had given up all of his, the fact that Scott knew everything about Mitch while Mitch felt as if he knew nothing about him, guilt instantly cloaked that rage. Guilt because Mitch knew he should be upset over the fact that Scott had killed one of his closest friends, not over the fact that he had betrayed him. Murder was Scott's true crime.

Still, the betrayal was overwhelming.

Without thinking Mitch turned his cheek just slightly, letting his eyes land on Scott. He was lying a few feet away, back slumped against the wall. He was fiddling with his gun, except it wasn't his gun. It was Mitch's. And not only was it Mitch's gun, but it was the gun that Mitch had left in Scott's cot back in the prison less than a year ago. And although it felt like a lifetime away, the memory still remained vivid. The memory of Scott returning the gun the next morning along with the his admittance of seeing Mitch's handcuff. The memory of that fight, their first real fight. But even back then, Mitch knew he could forgive him.

He needed to be able to find that forgiveness now.

With a deep breath Mitch lowered himself from the windowsill, walking toward Scott. Scott immediately looked up, standing and of course towering over Mitch, who was finding it increasingly difficult to maintain eye contact.

"What you did was- it was horrible," Mitch said, voice weaker than he would have liked. "It was horrible and disgusting and when you first told me, all of us, what you did, I didn't think I'd ever be able to forgive you. You betrayed me, Scott. You betrayed all of us. I don't know how to forgive that..." Mitch's voice trailed and he noticed Scott's chest was heaving.

Finally Mitch looked up to see tears spilling from Scott's eyes.

"I understand why you did it." Mitch kept his voice at a whisper now, knowing that if he brought it any louder it would break. "I don't think I could vocalize it, but in my heart, I understand. And in my heart, I'm willing to forgive you. I want to forgive you. I just don't know how." Mitch took a shaky breath, closing his eyes which allowed the tears that were welled up in them to cascade down his cheeks. He kept them shut as he said, "But I do forgive you."

Scott let out an audible sob, and Mitch opened his eyes to see him doubled over, hands on his knees. Except Mitch couldn't bring himself to comfort him. Couldn't bring himself to reach down and touch him, although he needed to so desperately.

Finally Scott stood, and after looking at Mitch for only a second he pulled him against his chest. Mitch stood limp and unmoving, tears still pouring from his red eyes. A sob that was stuck in his throat finally made it's way out, only causing Scott to hold him tighter.

And Mitch couldn't take it any longer. He wept loudly now, raising his arms finally to wrap them around Scott's waist and hold him just as tight.

They remained like this, safe in each others arms and remembering the woman they'd loved so dearly, for an eternity that wasn't quite long enough.