Apocalypse [Pentatonix AU | Kavi / Scomiche]

Chapter 52 - Message

Dearest Avi-

I'm sorry for not telling you that I'm dying, for not giving you a verbal goodbye, but I needed this to be my goodbye instead. I'm starting to feel myself slipping away. I'm writing this in your tent, I see you sleeping. And you look so peaceful. I can't bring myself to wake you up.

I'm going to a better place. I know you don't believe in heaven, and I didn't either, but right now I think I do. Maybe it's the infection, but I feel like I'm in a strong enough mindset to confidently say that I believe there's a better place, somewhere. We've lost so many, Av. Jeremy, Rose, Aleen, Shelley, Michael, Angelica, Esther, Alex, Joshua, Kate, Ben, Sariah, Jessica, Matt, so many countless more. I believe, in my heart, that I'll be with them soon.

I guess I should be terrified. Except I'm not. I'm with people I love and who love me. Scott, Mitch, Kevin, and you. Especially you. When you're ready, I hope you read this. I hope you know how deeply I love you. I hope you know that you are my singular light in this world of darkness. Promise me you won't ever lose sight of who you are. You are good, and that is so rare. Never let that change. And if you take anything away from these words, please let it be this; you are not a distraction. You are not a replacement. You could not be further from those things. You haven't replaced what I've lost, you've given me so much more. You are the love of my life, not him. Please know that. You are the love of my life.

Promise you won't forget me, either. That sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I don't want you to think of it that way. If it weren't for you, I would've died a very long time ago. You saved my life, Avriel Kaplan. Saved it in every way a life could be saved. You've been able to make me better, stronger. Remember me so you can remember that you saved me.

I don't know what else to say. I said before that this is a goodbye, but it's not. It's a goodbye for now. And a thank you, for everything. And an I love you. I love you so so much, for always. Don't you dare forget that.

Goodbye, Av. I'll be with you again someday.

- K