Apocalypse [Pentatonix AU | Kavi / Scomiche]

Chapter 42 - Unresolved

Kirstie stood at the edge of the clearing near the camp, breathing slowly through the pain in her chest. The sun was setting in front of her, the sky dripping red and orange. It was strikingly gorgeous, and for the first time Kirstie truly appreciated its beauty. After all, it would be the last sunset she'd ever see.

She unbuttoned the first three buttons of her blouse before placing her fingertips on her chest, running them across the long scratch that ran down her sternum. The infection was already spreading, she could see it, could feel the cold seeping into her veins. She knew she had until at least tomorrow morning before she became delusional, before it ended. But this would be her last night.

If it weren't for that one walker who'd gotten loose from the herd, who'd clawed so quickly at her chest before she could pull the trigger. If it weren't for that, she'd live to see the CDC, live to a better life. But because of one seemingly inconsequential moment in time, her life was coming to its end.

The sound of slow footsteps behind her caused her to quickly conceal her wound before she turned to face the source. Her heart skipped once she realized it was Avi.

His eyes were focused on the sunset, and not once did he stop to look at her. For one split second Kirstie considered running over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and telling him she was dying just so he could kiss her and love her for these last few hours. But she knew she couldn't be that selfish. She couldn't give him that burden.

He crossed next to her, so the two of them stood facing the sunset as opposed to one another. His eyes still hadn't drifted toward hers, and Kirstie finally forced herself to tear her own eyes away from his profile.

They stood in silence for an eternity. Kirstie started to doubt he would speak at all. But even just standing there, standing this close to him, Kirstie considered a gift.

"We'd be dead if it weren't for you." Kirstie almost jumped at the sound of his deep voice, which had cut through the silence like a knife. He hadn't looked at her, and she wondered if his mouth had moved at all. She waited for him to say more, to tell her how much he missed her, that he was sorry, but his jaw stayed wired shut.

"I thought maybe you came out here to talk about us," Kirstie finally whispered after yet another eternity.

Avi took a shaky breath, and although he wasn't looking at her Kirstie could see his eyes begin to glisten with fresh tears. The pain of heartbreak numbed the pain of infection almost completely.

With the both of them still facing the sunset, Avi suddenly reached toward her, putting a hand on her shoulder. Just touching her. Not stroking her arm, not squeezing it, not pulling her against him. Just touching her. Just reaching out and forming a connection that they both needed so desperately.

"We're grateful for what you did," he whispered, emerald eyes still unmoving.

Too soon his hand dropped from her shoulder and he turned, walking back toward the camp. The instant he was out of earshot Kirstie allowed her tears to fall, pressing her cheek against her shoulder and feeling the warmth of where his hand had been.

As she continued to cry she thought back to the beginning.

She remembered the tired stranger pointing his gun at her in the attic. She remembered watching him sleep that first night, trusting him against all reason and logic. She remembered him calling her Kirstie instead of Kirstin, the feeling that it gave her. She remembered him being bit as they cleared the prison, the first time she'd experienced that crippling fear of losing him. She remembered him checking her for injuries that night, the moment she realized she was falling in love with him. She remembered the first time he told her he loved her, how stunning he looked in that light. She remembered the jealousy of seeing him with another woman. She remembered the day they reintroduced themselves and started over, the day they shared their first kiss. She remembered having sex with him for the first time, how extremely perfect that night was. She remembered being in that farmhouse and considering a future with him, envisioning a life with him. She remembered escaping the schoolhouse with him, how grateful she was to have survived alongside him. She remembered their last kiss, the last seconds of ecstasy. She remembered all of it, and all the little moments in between. She remembered.

She was so overwhelmingly grateful that Avi Kaplan had come into her life at a time when she needed him most. And although their story wouldn't have a happy ending, she didn't mind.

After all, the best stories don't.

-

The pain was becoming unbearable, and Kirstie felt it sucking the life out of her, more and more rapidly with each passing second. But somehow she kept her breathing steady and her mind focused as she laid alone in her tent, the occasional rustling of trees sending chills down her aching spine.

She couldn't stop thinking about Avi.

Kirstie didn't want her last memory of his face to be his tear filled eyes and exhausted expression. She needed to see him one last time before she finally let go.

With a grunt she pushed herself onto her feet, which instantly sent sharp jolts of pains up and down her legs. Slowly she made her way out of her tent, her muscles aching as if she'd run a marathon. Yet somehow she willed herself forward, across the compound until she finally reached the small tent she knew belonged to Avi.

Silently she slipped inside, practically holding her breath as to not wake him. She knew how light of a sleeper he was, and she couldn't have him awake. She didn't have the strength to explain herself.

As she approached him quietly, by some miracle he remained asleep.

Kirstie let out a long breath, rocking backward until she was in a sitting position. She studied his face for the last time, memorized his features. He'd aged so much since she'd met him. Lines creased his brow, giving him a permanently serious expression. It looked almost comical while he was sleeping, as if he was concentrating intently on whatever dreams were dancing in his head. His beard had grown out, cloaking his jaw completely, and his long chestnut hair spilled messily over his cheekbones, which were more prominent now due to the food deprivation he'd endured. There was now a scar that ran across left cheekbone as well, a scar that he'd received after they'd been taken captive. She resisted the temptation to run her finger across it, to trace every inch of his skin. He looked so peaceful.

And suddenly Kirstie knew what she needed to do.

Reaching into her pocket she took out Jeremy's note, rereading it as if the message wasn't already inscribed in her brain. She then took the pen she'd forgotten she'd been carrying until that moment out from her other pocket, and with a long breath she struck out the words he had written. She stared almost in awe at what she'd done. His perfect handwriting was masked under a thick line, the words still readable but more obscure.

Kirstie then turned the paper over in her palm, smoothing out the blank side. And everything she wanted to say, everything she needed Avi to know, she scribbled down. She put the pen to the paper and breathed life to the ink.

After only a few minutes she finished the note, writing her first initial as her signature. She considered leaving it with Avi, but instead decided on leaving it on her. That way when he found her body, he'd find the note with it. He'd understand that these were her final words.

With a barely audible grunt Kirstie stood once again, mouthed an 'I love you' to a still sleeping Avi, then turned and made her way out of the tent. She eyed Scott as she walked, whose back was turned while he kept watch. She wished she could give him a goodbye, but she also knew that it would only hurt him more. All she could do now was hope that he knew how much he meant to her. He was her family, he was her best friend. She hoped he knew that.

Kirstie climbed back into her own tent, practically collapsing on the air mattress. Her breathing was becoming extremely labored, her body going almost completely numb. This was it. There was no more waiting, no more living. This was the end. It was time to let go.

Gasping for air Kirstie reached for the pocket knife that was lying about a foot away from her mattress. Her fingers wrapped around the cool handle, pointing the tip directly toward her sore heart.

"I love you, Avi," she whispered, closing her eyes.

But seconds before she could plunge the blade into her chest, Kirstie felt herself slip into unconsciousness.