FORLORN | JIKOOK

002 ─ forgotten

Jeon Jungkook

"Still haven't found anything, have you?" Taehyung asked after I had plopped down onto the couch, my head falling close to his thigh on the cushion. I released a heavy, irritated breath, and pressed my palms against my face slowly. "No! Nothing!" I exclaimed, and Taehyung's eyes burned on me carefully, his mind rummaging for some way to help— though there really wasn't much else he could do. He pulled his lips into a firm line, and pressed his fingertips in my tangled mess of hair. "Maybe you should take a break, Jungkook. You've been looking for weeks, and you only seem frustrated at this point." He suggested. I wanted to take a break, I really did— but I couldn't. Taehyung had taken care of me and allowed me to live with him, and I hadn't done anything in return. I needed a new job after quitting my job at the coffee shop, but there was nothing that interested me. If I was getting a job, I needed to do something that I wanted to do; if I didn't, I would just be miserable, and I was trying to start a new life. A happy life. And for a happy life, I needed a job that made me happy.

"No, Tae..." I whined quietly before dropping my hands from my face, and holding them together on my stomach. I tilted my head back, and lifted my eyes towards the man. "I need a job as soon as possible. You've done so much for me—" I started, furrowing my eyebrows as I spoke. "I've done nothing." I mumbled, and the edge of Taehyung's lips fell to a frown at my words. His fingers ran soothingly through my hair, and his eyes watched me carefully while he finished listening. "Jungkook," he started, his voice coming off extremely gentle and soft. "you needed somebody; you were hurting, and didn't know how to take care of yourself because of it." He continued, his voice sounding deep with pain and sadness at the memory. He hated how I treated myself then, and his eyes gleamed with intense regret every time it was mentioned; he felt like he didn't do enough for me to do better, and it hurt him. "I couldn't just leave you like that." He said.

He had reminded me of this several times, but this time his voice sounded different than all the other times. "I'm sure you understand." He finished, and I glanced up at him once he pulled his lips together. His words were believable, but not convincing. I was sure I would never forgive myself for the lack of support and care I gave him.

I wanted to tell him that I didn't understand, because though I knew why he did it, I didn't know why he was so caring while doing it. And it confused me, because I knew I deserved a lot less than what he gave me. I wanted to ask him over and over again, but I knew there was no point. Though I knew he wouldn't hesitate to explain it to me repeatedly, I still couldn't completely grasp it. "I suppose I do.." I sighed before letting my eyes fall closed, allowing my eyelashes to rest softly on the skin of my cheek once I did so.

Taehyung didn't seem too enthusiastic about my answer, but he was satisfied. I could feel his eyes on me while he ran his fingers through my hair, but I didn't really mind. "You should go to sleep, Jungkook. It's late." He finally said, and I let my eyes flutter open at the words. "I'm not very tired, though." I mumbled, but I pressed my hand against the couch cushion and raised myself anyway. Taehyung's hand fell from my hair, and sat on his computer while he turned his eyes away from mine. "Yes, you are." He replied.

I wanted to deny it once more, but he was right. I didn't want to feel tired, but I was. I hadn't been getting much sleep, and of course, he picked up on it. There wasn't much I could try to hide from Taehyung, because he was very observant whenever it came to my health and attitude. It was sort of irritating that he picked up on so much, but it was nice that he cared about me. I raised my legs to the side of the couch, and slowly slid my feet onto the cold floor to prepare myself for bed. Taehyung took my silence as confirmation that he was right, and he lifted his hand to me as I stood to my feet. He grabbed ahold of my wrist, and grasped it softly. I turned my eyes to him at the feeling. "No more sleeping on the couch, Jungkook." He spoke quietly, and his eyes searched mine gently. "You can sleep on my bed tonight." His hand lowered to mine falling from my wrist, and he squeezed it lightly in a supportive gesture. Then, he brought it back down to his computer, the feeling of his skin against mine still fresh on my hand.

"What about you?" I asked, my lips falling to a small frown at what he was implying. Taehyung's eyes were on the screen of his computer, and he didn't bother glancing at me whenever he answered. "That doesn't matter." He pressed his fingertips against the keyboard, starting to get back to what he was doing before I flopped onto the couch. I wasn't satisfied with his answer, and it made my stomach tug in frustration. He seemed to love putting me first all the time, and though it was kind, I really didn't think he deserved so little attention. It wasn't fair. "But, Taehyung—" I began to argue, but he cut me off before I could even barely begin.

"Jungkook, just shush and go to bed."

── • ──

Before I slipped into Taehyung's bedroom and crawled under the covers, I had retrieved something inside of Jimin's old bedroom— or my current bedroom, that is. Whenever I left my apartment to live with Taehyung, I, of course, packed up the things that mattered to me. Along with a few other things, I kept a photograph. It was the polaroid photo that Taehyung had given me so long ago. I didn't pull it out often, but every now and then I just felt the need. So, I would get it, and look at it before going to bed. Taehyung had been extremely supportive of me throughout the whole situation with Jimin, even if he didn't agree with me.

At first, I didn't appreciate Taehyung whenever he comforted me, because I was too concentrated on who it should've been. But apparently it shouldn't have had been Jimin, because if it was, he would've been there. After I met Jimin, I sort of dismissed Taehyung most times— if not all the time. But once again, like every other struggle I went through, it ended in Taehyung and I.

But yet, even though so much happened between Jimin and I, Taehyung somehow knew that there was something else going on.

I moved on from Jimin. I didn't have an interest in him anymore. He was barely on my mind at that point; I could probably say I forgot about the idea of the two of us together. Though, it was still nice to see the picture— because even if I didn't think of us together anymore, I couldn't deny that Jimin looked stunning. Any person would agree; Park Jimin really was beautiful.

But I didn't love him anymore.

Though I couldn't help but wonder every now and then, what is he doing right now? And, has he moved on? What's going on in his life currently?—, and so there were a lot of questions like those that I thought about. But not because I loved him. It was because he had once been a big part of my life, so it was only natural to wonder. But I wasn't going to ever, ever admit that I still thought about those things, or wondered about the man. Because I had moved on, and I knew it. I was burying those thoughts and feelings that I used to have, and I wasn't going to ever dig them up again. There was no reason to.

Yes, it was true.
I didn't love him.
I really, really didn't love Park Jimin.

Was it possible to say that I was starting to forget about him?—
Or was it that I was just trying to believe I was?

── • ──

author's note ;

i had forgotten that today is saturday && i try to post a chapter every saturday sO LIKE ????
2 updates lmao aAyy hahahahaahaaaaa :"^))

btw i was 100% sure everyone would have gotten about "innocence" so no one would care about the sequel haha...