FORLORN | JIKOOK

015 ─ priority

Jeon Jungkook

"You're planning to just leave?" Jimin stared up at me with burning, dark eyes that made my fingertips tremble in a strong sense of confusion. I was on my feet, and I clasped my phone against my palm as I slowly pushed the chair against the table. I ended my call with Taehyung and right as I did so I began to prepare to leave. Maybe Jimin thought that he was being secretive about his feelings, but throughout the whole time in the kitchen I felt his irritated mood radiating through the room, forming a strong atmosphere that was my skin prickle with unease.

What was I supposed to tell Jimin? "No, I just lied to Taehyung, I'm planning on staying here for a few more hours"? No, no way. Of course I was planning on leaving. I hated the thought of not seeing Jimin after so long, but Taehyung was concerned and at that point in my life, Taehyung was my priority. Not Jimin. Jimin left, and he never came back. Whenever Taehyung left, he was forced to. But the moment he could, he found me. He always stuck with me and I was going to try my best to do the same.

Taehyung had ended up texting me a lot the night before in worry, because once twelve passed, I still wasn't at the hotel. For hours he sat awake, hopefully, impatiently awaiting my arrival in fear that something had happened to me. He called, but no response came. Jimin and I were talking for so long and about so many different things to the point where I forgot to check my phone. That morning I didn't check it either, I forgot about my phone then, too. I had it with me but didn't bother checking. In doing so, Taehyung got extremely concerned. He didn't know if I got to sleep anywhere safe, he didn't know if something had happened, he didn't know if I was okay or not. And it worried him.

I breathed in slowly and turned my eyes towards Jimin, who sat there impatiently waiting for an answer. I didn't really want to talk, because I was too confused with the two of us. I was afraid to try. But I knew I needed to. I swallowed down my hesitation, and lifted my head with furrowed eyebrows at the man. "Yes, Jimin." I said quietly. "I'm leaving." I said simply, in which the man tightened his jaw and slowly shook his head. His eyes pealed away from mine, and my eyes lingered on the man as I did so. "By yourself?" He asked with his palm resting against his cheek, his skin heating up and growing warmer at the contact. 

I sighed and lifted my head up. It was in the middle of the day— or the beginning of the middle of the day, I suppose—, so therefor it wasn't night anymore. Along with that, I wasn't at home. I was in Gwangju. What were the chances that Gyo would be there as well? It wasn't very likely. "Yes, by myself." I lowered my eyes and pulled my lips together in a small sense of irritation. Part of me wasn't really in the mood to have that kind of conversation. I loved Jimin and wanted to be with him, but I knew in that moment that I needed to think. I needed to be alone. If I stayed with Jimin for too long, I would quickly get attached.

Jimin had no response for my answer, and instead he kept silent for a moment, almost as if his mind was trying to process more words. I lowered my hand and slowly grasped the mug that sat warmly on the table, the liquid in it still sitting in it heavily. I didn't even drink any. "Thank you for the drink." I thanked quietly while I turned on my heel slowly, my feet carefully pressing towards the direction of the counter. Jimin's eyes lifted up at me and lingered steadily on me once the words left my lips.

I lowered my eyes on the drink while I carefully stepped forward, trying to move slowly so the liquid wouldn't swish out of the heated mug. Once I arrived at the counter, I slowly lowered the drink onto the hard surface. My concentration got the better of me, so I didn't notice the quiet creaking of the chair against the hard floor, or the quiet footsteps that moved carefully behind me.

"Jungkook," The man's voice was quiet, and it seemed almost weak. But there was an odd steadiness in it, almost like a somewhat firm tone. I didn't bother turning my head, even though part of me strongly wanted to. "Please don't go." Jimin's words slipped off of his tongue carefully, and I raised my eyes at the words. I felt a sharp pain shoot up my spine at the three words, and the edges of my lips fell down into a small frown. My eyebrows were narrowed, and I held my lips together to try to keep myself from saying something foolish. It was strange, really. It reminded me of that time a year ago that Jimin stood over me, and he spoke harsh words that cut through my heart like sharp knives. I couldn't express the miserable feelings that ached throughout my legs and made my fingers tremble. I didn't want Jimin to go. And in that moment, I didn't want to go.