FORLORN | JIKOOK

021 ─ friends

Park Jimin

I don't know why, but it somehow seemed to bother me that Jungkook knew Hyeona already. I wasn't sure how he happened to, and I felt a bit confused, but he didn't seem too upset at the sight of her. Or, I thought. I didn't know; I genuinely wasn't sure. I couldn't tell if he was shocked or hurt by the fact that it was someone he knew. It was hard to tell for awhile, but the man seemed to keep spacing out— his eyes constantly looked distant, and I always found him either looking at her or at the table. I wasn't sure what was going through his head, and I felt like I couldn't stop squirming in my seat because of it.

With that, I couldn't stop looking at Taehyung, either. The man appeared to be closer with Jungkook than I had remembered; he kept touching him, and it seemed like he really helped Jungkook to calm down. One moment, Jungkook would look a bit tense, but because of Taehyung, his eyes grew softer, and he would become loose in his seat. That kind of thing happened many times—

Maybe they didn't think I would notice, but I noticed. I noticed the way that Taehyung grasped Jungkook's hand protectively in his own; if the two thought that I didn't see the way they clung to each other whenever they entered, then they were wrong. Because I didn't fail to notice the way that Taehyung held Jungkook's skin carefully, leading him softly. They seemed to be like magnets that didn't dare separate.

I noticed the way that they locked eyes. Taehyung's eyes softly lingered on Jungkook's, and they glimmered down at the man with intense, pleading rays; it was like he felt completely engulfed in awe at the sight of them. Along with that, Jungkook looked like he felt completely comfortable whenever he looked at the older man. His eyes gazed up at him with admiration and tenderness, and his uncomfortable facial expression seemed to falter every time he looked at Taehyung. His eyes and expression radiated with a newfound kind of brightness and pleasure.

They seemed like they were completely occupied with each other to the point where it seemed like their presence was absent.

I couldn't help but to clench my fists at the sight, and I had to bite down on my bottom lip to try to hold back from blurting out questions about their current relationship. I found myself wanting to spit out different words, ideas, questions— anything, really—, just to try and get them to pull away from each other.

It wasn't that I was jealous!

Honestly, completely honestly! I knew I had no interest in Jungkook, because I was pleased with my relationship with Hyeona. I liked her, I liked how she made me feel. I liked her company; I liked being with her. She gave me security and safety whenever Jungkook wasn't there, and I knew that I was happy to be with her.

With her; not with him.

It was just because I wasn't used to seeing them so open with each other. At one point, I was seeing Jungkook looking at me with eyes full of complete admiration and love— but whenever I saw him again, it was directed towards someone else. I just wasn't used to it. But I was sure, after I got more sleep and was able to think clearly, I wouldn't feel so bothered. Though, during that time we were there, I was bothered. I was bothered by how Taehyung kept stealing glances towards Jungkook, and I was bothered by how much Jungkook was looking at Hyeona.

I didn't know why, but I couldn't help but to feel like Jungkook was avoiding me. Avoiding my eyes, avoiding most conversation with me, everything; it was obvious that his eyes were turning everywhere but where I was. I didn't understand why he was deciding to turn away from me like he was, but it felt plain as day. I felt irritation throbbing through every inch of my body, because I just wanted, for one moment, for the man to just look at me!

I felt like the only times he bothered in doing so, was whenever I spoke to him first. But even then, he usually turned his eyes away and gave short, quiet mumbles as his responses. Taehyung always seemed to speak for him.