FORLORN | JIKOOK

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Jeon Jungkook

Jimin and spoke a little longer, and the two of us comforted each other a bit. After awhile we quieted down, and Jimin asked to take me to the house he was currently living in, because it was so late. Hours had passed during our various different conversations. I considered just going back to the hotel, but Jimin and I both knew that we still had a lot to talk about. "Jimin..." I breathed out slowly as the two of us walked side by side, like whenever Jimin used to walk me to my apartment late at night after work. "I didn't lie to you all of those times because I didn't trust you." I spoke quietly, my hair falling over my face as my feet moved slowly under me. Jimin glanced at me, his facial expression and eyes a lot calmer than before.

"I thought you were going to leave me, and I didn't know what to believe." I turned my eyes towards Jimin, who was already looking at me intently and appeared to be carefully listening to my every word intensely. After those words, Jimin blinked his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, his old expression faltering and a newfound look of concern covering every inch of his face. His eyes glistened brightly, and I could almost feel like I could see the questions jumping in his head through his eyes. "I lied to you because I didn't want to lose you, and I was hoping that I was just making everything up." I continued on, my voice carefully becoming louder by the moment. "I kept trying to tell myself that everything he said to me was wrong, but I couldn't help but feel like he was right." I said, in which Jimin's face transformed into one of confusion, and he tilted his head with a frown pulling on his lips. "He?" Jimin said simply, his eyes growing darker. At that moment I parted my lips and paused in my steps, my hair brushing against my skin, tickling my eyes a bit. It had completely slipped my mind that he didn't know that whole time— Jimin didn't know that Gyo talked to me.

Come to think of it, a lot happened that Jimin didn't know about it.

"O-oh.." I murmured, my head lowering. I turned my eyes towards my feet before lifting my gaze once more towards Jimin, who paused in his steps as well and turned with his head looking towards me. Along with that, I remembered how much Jimin absolutely hated— no, despised, Gyo Junsu. How would he feel to know that Gyo was the reason that I was so unbelievably afraid?

Part of me wanted to make up something else and not even mention Gyo in fear of angering Jimin, but I quickly shook the thought out and bit down on my bottom lip. Jimin and I were being completely honest with each other— and even if it hurt, I had to be honest about Gyo, too. It was only right.

I messed up so much by not being honest, and I prayed for a long time for the opportunity to come so I could fix my mistakes; and there was no way I was going to go back on the chance once I finally got it.

"Well," I began nervously. "I mean Gyo." I murmured, my eyebrows furrowing as I admitted the name to the man that meant so much to me. Beside me, Jimin's expression flushed, and his lips parted. No words came out, but he stared at me with eyes that looked shocked, and he appeared like he was working to try to grasp the name; it seemed he was afraid he heard me wrong. "Gyo.. Junsu?" He whispered, his teeth clenching while his eyes were staring blankly at me, though it looked as if there was frustration beginning to spread through his body. I frowned and glanced to the side in fear of his current response. "I kept bumping into him; every time, he told me you would leave me." I bit down on my bottom lip, and slowly lifted my eyes towards Jimin.

He breathed in and chewed down on his bottom lip before raising his head, his eyes turning towards the sky with a small shake to his head. He lowered it once more, and lifted his hand towards his hair, pulling his fingers through the strands before turning his head to the side. His fingers trembled, and his eyes looked like they were filled with burning shame. No words came from his lips, but I felt like I could see how he felt through the different shades in his eyes.

He released a slow breath, and he lowered his head down; his face was covered in regret, and he seemed so overwhelmingly embarrassed of his actions to the point where he tried to hide his face. I stared down at him with concern, my lips parting as I stepped closer in the urge to comfort the man. Yes, he did exactly what Gyo said he would do— but he obviously wasn't happy about it.

I pressed my hand down on the man's neck, and slowly brought my other hand to the man's back. My fingertips pressed against the fabric of his shirt, and I slowly brought his head to my chest. His hand lowered to cover his face, and his fingers hid his eyes from my sight as his head pressed against my chest. "Jungkook.." His voice wavered with sadness in a quiet mumble, though his hand made his voice sound a bit muffled. "I proved Gyo right." He breathed in, his voice breaking in disappointment. His throat clogged with different emotions, and he sealed his eyes tightly. "I wish I could tell you that I'd never leave you; but I did." He breathed heavily. "I left you." He spoke, but I pulled him closer and slowly lifted my fingers into the man's hair, allowing my fingertips to graze across his skin in slow rhythmic patterns.

"And it hurts so much that that's so." He shook his head. I bit down on my bottom lip and slowly rested my cheek on the man's head, his hair pressing against my cheek and tickling the skin softly. The man in my arms fell silent, and I stood with him pressed close to me quietly. My eyes were heavy due to the time of night, and part of me was starting to question if Jimin had fallen asleep in my arms due to the emotions he felt and the time. I was close to looking down at the man whenever he slowly parted his lips and lifted his fingers from his face, and in a matter of moments pressed his fingertips against my shirt and grasped the fabric tightly. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, tightly clasping the clothes between his fingers.

After several moments, he slowly stepped back, causing my fingers to fall from his hair and his back. I lifted my head up as he moved, and turned my head to look at the man. "But I can't do this." His words came quietly, and it seemed almost as if he was afraid to admit the words he spoke.

The moment he spoke the words, I felt my heart freeze in my chest, and I breathed in slowly to try to gain my thoughts. My mind seemed to pause at what he spoke, and slowly questions began to pop into my head one by one. "W-what do you mean?" I stuttered uneasily, my throat tightening. It was difficult to speak but I forced the words out, even though I felt as if I had lost all my breath.

Jimin's head was still lowered, and he stared down at the grown to try to keep his gaze steady and firm. "It.." He breathed out begrudgingly before biting down on his bottom lip to keep his lips from falling into a frown.

"It means that I've.." He began, his voice breaking as his mind screamed for him to say it, but yet to bite back the words. He dreaded continuing the sentence.

"I've moved on."

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didn't want to publish but wanted to publish but didn't want to publish yk whatta mean??? 

uh ay i hope u enjoyed this chapter !! pls have a good week i hope ur healthy n happy u deserve a good life <3 love u  ,, ill see u in the next chapter