FORLORN | JIKOOK

004 ─ consideration

don't get irritated with me in this chapter; and remember who this book is about :"^)

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Jeon Jungkook

"I just don't know what to do at this point, Joon." I admitted, and I held my cheeks in my palms thoughtfully. Taehyung had brought me to the coffee shop that day; he knew I needed a coffee, so he pulled me along with him, even though I was extremely hesitant to come. At that moment, I was expressing certain issues with Namjoon, because he was Namjoon. And he listened carefully, not bothering to speak while I did. He concentrated on cleaning the machines and all for the coffee shop, but he paid strong attention to the words I spoke to him.

Once I finished, he set his hand down on the counter, with a cloth grasped between his fingers while he stood behind the counter. "Jungkook, why don't you just work here?" He asked, and I nearly sighed in frustration at the question. He had asked that several times throughout the past month— and not to annoy me, but because he didn't think my reason was a good one. I turned my head, and rolled my eyes at the words. "You know why." I rasped, holding my hands together on the counter. Namjoon shook his head, and lifted his eyebrows. "Well, yeah, I know why you wouldn't want to work here, but I don't know why you aren't considering the reasons why you would want to work here." He sighed, and lowered his head.

He lifted up the wet cloth he held and grasped it carefully before pressing it against the counter once more, stretching it across the surface to clean it. "I mean, I know that Jimin used to work here, and I know that that hurts you." He started, not bothering to look me in the eyes. "But Taehyung and I work here, too. I thought that would be important enough for you to want to stay here." He spoke, and my eyebrows furrowed at the words. I didn't really consider that he would feel that way, but it seemed that a lot more was going on in his head than he let on. "And not only that, but you're talking about moving on." He started, and I felt an intense tug in my stomach at the way he spoke. "You say that you don't even care about Jimin anymore, but yet the thought and memories of you two together still bothers you." He glanced up at me, and my eyes followed his hand as he worked on cleaning the counter.

"I say this because I love you;" he paused before breathing in gently. "I know you want to start a new life and begin new— meaning leaving what you had before, but the coffee shop makes you happy." He finally stopped, and he set his hands down once more before finally lifting his head towards me. "Just because you want to move on from the memories with Jimin, doesn't mean you have to move on from everything." His eyes gleamed at mine, and only then did I understand that he was hurting. Not for himself, but for me. I could sense that he couldn't bear to see me beat myself up over this kind of thing. "I don't want you to look at the coffee shop and see it as the place that you spent time with Jimin in." He breathed out softly, and his eyebrows furrowed at me.

"Jungkook, if you really want to forget all of those old memories you had here with Jimin, then just create new ones with us."

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Namjoon's words earlier that day really made me feel uneasy. I wasn't sure how to address him, and he could see it in the way that I avoided his eyes afterwards. He made a very logical point, and I felt almost bothered at the way he addressed the situation, but I supposed I was only asking for it by telling him about what was going on. I was starting to think about it harder, and part of me agreed with him. Whenever I thought about the coffee shop, I always saw it as the place that I spent so much time with Jimin in. And though they were good memories, maybe they weren't healthy ones— but I wanted to make more memories, ones that were good and healthy.