FORLORN | JIKOOK

009 ─ was

i'm watching a christmas movie months before christmas pt92723

── • ──

Jeon Jungkook

The next day had passed, and all day Taehyung and I had done different kind of activities. It was a really good day and we both enjoyed our time a lot. Though, Taehyung did seem a bit distant that day. He seemed extremely occupied with his thoughts. We tried ending the day by going out to a nice restaurant, and I tried asking him about it there, but he didn't seem very open to talking. Then when we arrived at the hotel and we started to get ready to go to bed, he seemed like he wanted to try to start talking. But for most of the time, he kept silent.

"You aren't uncomfortable by me, are you?" Taehyung finally asked quietly once the silence in the room became too unbearable, and he sat on his side of the bed with his back facing me. The question made me turn my head a little in shock, and I narrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What?" I said and shook my head a little before I lowered my head once more and concentrated on unbuttoning my shirt. "No, of course not!— Why would you ask such a thing?" I rasped and smiled a bit out of confusion, not because I was happy. A small laugh left my lips, but it was because the question was silly to me. Why in the world would I be uncomfortable with Taehyung?

"Well, because.." He said hesitantly. "Because you know that I like guys." He said quietly, nearly a whisper, almost as if he was afraid that someone would overhear. But I didn't get it. Why was he so cautious about it? My fingers played with the buttons as I tried to undo them, though my fingers kept slipping. "Taehyung," I turned around slowly, and I lifted my head to look at the man while my fingers were occupied with the shirt. "Have you forgotten?" I shook my head with a smile, and I felt a chuckle rise up in my chest. It escaped my lips and came out quietly. "I like guys, too." I reminded him, and raised my eyebrows with a tilt to my head.

"No, no, don't worry. I remember quite well." He mumbled before turning his head slowly, his body following. In a matter of moments he was facing me. "It's just that..." He started again. But no response came, and instead he silently looked down with his lips held together. The aura that he gave off was quite odd, and he seemed nervous. The way he was acting made me feel a bit concerned. "Well, it's just that..." He repeated, but the words got trapped in his mouth once again. I pulled my lips together and tilted my head, and slowly stepped towards the man. He lifted his eyes at me as I came closer, and his head slowly lifted. He bit down on his bottom lip and pressed his foot back as if he was going to back up, but he didn't move. "I don't think of you any differently." I stated, and my eyes burned on his intensely. "It doesn't matter if you like boys or girls." I breathed in slowly. "I don't care." I furrowed my eyebrows, and I let my eyes linger on the man for several moments.

Whenever we were in high school and whenever Jimin and I were still together, throughout all the time I knew Taehyung, I loved him. He was important to me and still is. What gender he liked wouldn't change that, because I loved him whenever I didn't know. So I should've loved him when I did, too.

"I'm not going to think you're checking me out, I'm not going to think you're trying to win my heart, I'm not going to think that you're looking for ways to get into my pants, I'm not going to think you're getting 'too close' because you're into guys." I spoke quickly, and I shook my head as I spoke. Taehyung may have been into boys, but that didn't mean he was constantly trying to get with me. Why would I feel violated? I would have had no reason to. And even if I did, then I was just as guilty. "All I'm going to think is that you're Taehyung, and I'm me." I said, and the edge of his lips pulled upward subtly. It would've been hard to notice. "Best friends who love each other a lot." I continued, but Taehyung's smile faltered instantly, and his eyes seemed to grow heavier at my words. I wasn't sure why, but I pretended not to notice.