FORLORN | JIKOOK

024 ─ opportunity

Jeon Jungkook

"Do you want to stay in the hotel today?" Taehyung asked as he sat in front of his suitcase, digging through it slowly.

I pulled my lips together, and narrowed my eyebrows thoughtfully. I shook my head, tilting it as I did so. "No, I don't think so.. Not today." I mumbled in response, scrolling through my phone to look for the cost of the plane back home, considering it wouldn't be too long before Taehyung and I left. "I think I'm going to go look around. Do you want to come with me?" I asked, setting the object onto my bed beside me. I turned my head towards Taehyung, who was lowered near his side of the bed, before I turned away once more.

"Mmh, well.." He mumbled quietly. "As much as I would love to spend time with you, I really just want to rest today." Taehyung responded, a frown covering his pale lips at the exhaustion that had tugged on him all morning. I lowered my head downward slowly, followed by a little nod. I lowered my body onto the bed, dropping myself so my back would carefully hit the sheets. "That's okay." I said simply while I allowed my eyes to flutter shut.

The room fell silent after that.

My chest peacefully heaved against me with every breath that I took. I easily sensed Taehyung's quiet presence near me. It was too bad that he was wanting to stay in the hotel, which only meant that I would go on my own. It was sort of disappointing, but I decided to shrug it off. It was good to be alone to think every now and then, so I guess it wasn't a huge deal to me. Though I knew I would miss Taehyung.

"Well," I started, destroying the quiet atmosphere after several moments. "just call me if you want someone to talk to." I advised.

The man's eyes carefully lowered toward me, lingering over my restful expression. His beautifully dark eyes radiated the most tender sort of quiet affection— and the expression that fell over his face was one of a wishful lost boy.

In a matter of moments, Taehyung was raising himself toward the bed, and pressing his hands down onto the thick blanket to bring himself closer. The man's presence grew more and more obvious to me, and the sound of his movement beside me quietly filled the silent room. In a matter of moments, the side of his body was pressed against the side of mine. He lifted his hands towards his stomach, and softly folded his hands against the fabric over his skin. He turned his head only slightly to his right, glancing at me beside him.

His face was very close to mine.

After a few moments, he turned his head once more, and lifted his eyes towards the ceiling. His breathing slowly fell in sync with mine, and the calm atmosphere in the room made my skin feel perfectly relaxed— aside from the sweetest sense of coldness that familiarly filled my bones.

── • ──

Kim Taehyung

Jungkook stayed in the hotel for about thirty more minutes to allow his body to rest before he decided to head on out. Almost immediately after he left, loneliness filled the room that his presence occupied only a few moments before. The knowledge of his absence made discomfort crawl all over my skin, like cold goosebumps; I felt a shaky sigh escape my lips at the tickling feeling.

Ever since Jungkook left, I had been lying on the bed for what felt like hours, trying my best to calm any thoughts that wanted to stroll through my head— but it felt like every bit of the exhaustion that had filled my body beforehand evaporated. I suddenly couldn't find even the slightest bit of a need or want for rest. Instead, my mind was active with thoughts.

I couldn't explain what these thoughts were about. It was about multiple things; not necessarily sad things, but just things that lingered on my mind every now and then, like an annoying itch that wouldn't go away. No matter how much I tried to change the topic in my head, it wouldn't stop. It all kept buzzing in my head, over and over again. It felt impossible to have a silent mind at that point.

Of course my thoughts involved Jungkook— sometimes it felt like my world revolved around him; as if he was my world.

And eventually, Jimin came to my mind as well— along with disturbing feelings of discomfort. I loved Jimin so much— he was one of my closest friends at some point. So, why did it feel so awkward then? Why did I feel so awkward whenever I saw him— or whenever I thought about him? I couldn't tell if it was because of what happened between Jungkook and him or if it was because of something else. I just knew that whenever I would think of him, I would feel feelings of disappointment— not because of who he is, but because of what he did. I suppose it could've been out of my protectiveness over Jungkook. Jungkook was my best friend, he always had been. But to me, he was also more than that. If Jungkook loved Jimin like I loved him, then what they went through must have hurt him extremely bad.

I wanted to understand everything better. But how could I do that? Why did Jimin leave? Why in the world would he do that to Jungkook? Why was he running like he was? I guess part of me understood some of the answers to these things. But there was still something that bothered me strongly. Why was Jimin with Hyeona— or whatever her name was? His attachment to Jungkook felt uncomfortably obvious to me whenever I saw him last; it was almost as if he was as in love with him as before, but instead of the unknown yearning he felt when they first met, it was as if he was trying to gain back what he lost. He was searching for what he used to have— but he couldn't claim it anymore.

Though, that was his fault. Why was he still with Hyeona, if he was so obviously in love with Jungkook still? I could see it in his eyes— why was he looking at Jungkook so much with such concentrated eyes, if "the love of his life" was sitting right beside him?

Aren't eyes attracted to the thing you find most appealing?

These were things I couldn't figure out. I wanted to understand.

What kind of foolish game was Jimin playing? What was he trying to figure out? Maybe he couldn't see it, but I did. And it made me furious. Jungkook still loved Jimin. Jimin still loved Jungkook. Why didn't he want to admit it? Why didn't he want to see that?

Even if I didn't necessarily want them together anymore, that didn't matter. What matters is that they love each other— so they should have been working through it together, rather than blindly trying to avoid it in misery. Nobody wanted to open their eyes and take the chances they had.

And it drove me insane.

I had made that mistake before— I lost the chance I had with Jungkook years ago. I accepted that after Jimin came into the picture— to see someone else make that mistake...
I know what that's like. And it's a terrible thing to do. A single day hadn't gone by where I didn't regret it. If there was one thing I knew, it was that.

I think that was why it messed me up so much to see this happen.
Because everything was unfolding right in front me, and I knew exactly how it felt to make the mistake Jimin is making.

To miss out on the one person that you'd never want to miss out on.

── • ──

this book isn't discontinued i just had family issues and was unable to write

also i seriously never knew what to do w this chapter? i know what i want to happen but idk how to get there again help.
anyway i hope u enjoyed this chapter!! sorry for being centuries late LMAO love ya