FORLORN | JIKOOK

016 ─ jimin chased jungkook

Jeon Jungkook

Across from me, Taehyung stood with his hand pressed against the doorway of the room we were in, and the side of his head laid against it carefully. His eyes were lowered and dark, his lips held together as a sign that the man wasn't even close to speaking yet. I had expressed to him all that had happened; how I saw Jimin on the sidewalk and about how we talked for hours and hours about things that had both been bothering and haunting us for so long. I then told him that he let me come to the house he was staying in, which was why I never came back to the hotel.

I wished I could have told Taehyung all that Jimin had told me with excitement; told him that everything wasn't what I had thought it was, and that Jimin really did love me, too. That he missed me, just like I missed him.—

But I didn't fail to remember what Jimin had said.

"I've moved on", were the words that left his plump little lips. It was awful to think about the fact that the same lips that I had kissed numerous times, were the same lips that told me that he didn't love me anymore. It seemed that even something used for a sweet kiss could turn wrong, too. I wanted to remember all those shocking things he said and feel like I had some kind of chance with the man still. But it was impossible after hearing such words from his very own lips. Though part of me wondered, why did he move on?

I wondered if it was because he just wasn't used to a relationship anymore, or if maybe he just realized that he was better off without us in a relationship. I wondered if it was because of the man that he was currently living with. I wondered if it was because he felt like he wasn't ready to try again. I wondered if it was because he just really didn't want anything to do with me. I genuinely didn't know, but there was one thing that I did know.—

I desperately wanted to win Park Jimin back.

Maybe I wouldn't succeed, maybe it was wrong to want to— or to try. Maybe he was happier, and so it would only be bad for him. Maybe I was just being foolish. I wasn't sure of much, but I couldn't deny the way that my heartbeat sped up whenever the man would look at me with his sharp, intense eyes. His stares caught me off guard, and I always found myself looking at him; especially whenever he was looking right at me, too. I constantly wished for his eyes to stay on me. I was so needy for his attention, and maybe I wasn't too good at showing that whenever we were together, but I craved him in every way.

Whenever his fingertips pressed against my skin, I felt a buzz that vibrated through my skin. Sometimes it seemed like my world paused to notice that Jimin, Park Jimin, was touching me. Along with that, I couldn't express how much I loved his laugh, and especially whenever I was the reason for it. I always felt so unbelievably, shockingly proud of myself if I ever succeeded in such a thing. I had no clue how to explain the satisfied feeling that always swelled through my heart at the achievement. His laugh really was beautiful, and I did my best to capture the moments where his eyes crinkled along with his smile that spread angelically across his sweet, pale cheeks. There were many smiles in the world, but I cherished his most.

To see his teeth through his smile was the cutest thing to me. I loved every time he would smile up at me. Because I knew that he was mine. Oh god, there was nothing that ever made me more proud than to know that the precious human being, who always seemed too stunning to be so, was mine. And though Jimin was older than me, I was proud to know that he was my baby boy. Park Jimin was my sweet, sweet baby boy. —

Was.

Park Jimin was my sweet, sweet baby boy; not anymore. Because even though I dreaded the thought, and wanted so desperately to forget the words, Jimin had said so himself— he had moved on. He didn't love me anymore.