Take Note : It's All Different

3. Documentations of Me

I'd always only ever seen the birth certificate that said Helen and James Kalecon were my parents. Now in front of me I held a different one.

This one said : Angel Charlie Ambrose born 13th of November at 11.34am 1997. Parents John Harold Ambrose a member of the police force born lalala. Frankie Patricia Ambrose also born in lalala.

Hospital was the same as the one I had previously seen. St Johns women's hospital.

Older siblings had begun to be written on as the pen had touched the paper. The ink lay in a diagonal line but did not go any further. Maybe this was one of the hints that mum had mentioned. Now another questioned floated into the air.Who was my older sibling? There were so many more questions that could link to that but I kept my mind somewhat clear of those thoughts. I didn't have a target to reach but I knew I had to get through all of this to find out what my target was or will be.

There were too many pieces of information for one day. I'd fallen asleep numerous times through documents and by 1 o'clock in the morning I was completely drained. I felt like I needed to curl up and cry. Curl up amongst all this information and let it all out. Just simply cry myself to sleep. I contemplated doing exactly that before I had fallen asleep for good. I hadn't made it very far through the box so I still had at least until Monday afternoon doing my research here.

My research was not going to stop on this box. Names and places. I needed to find out where my biological parents were now. Whether they were interested in meeting me. I wanted to find out about the older sibling if I actually had one. Curiosity is something that I suffer from. Immensely. In some situations I am too curious for my own good. You can't surprise me. I figure it out so quickly. Ruins the fun but I can't help it.

Right now I was curious about my family. My descendant. My parents. But mainly I was curious about me. How will this affect my life? How will this affect my relationships with the family I have now? Will Helen and James encourage me to find my parents? Will they refuse? Will Nate my brother and Claire my sister treat me differently? Will I see them differently? Will they see me differently? Did they already now?

I could fill a book with questions created by my curiosity. Questions I only came up with today. I hoped that these papers would answer my questions but they have given me more questions than they have answers.

When I awoke the next morning Helen was sitting on the end of my bed. Her face was grave and her body still. She watched my face and then looked around my roof at the mess I had created with all the documents.

"I see you're still researching." I nodded still half asleep. I really should have gone to bed early and woke up early. I'd feel much better that way.

"I did some research for you as well but do you have any questions?"

"Do I have an older sibling? See its started but I never finishes."

I held the document out in front of her and she just nodded as if she had seen it a thousand times before. She looked out the window before answering my question.

"Your older sibling died at birth but they weren't sure whether they still wanted to have it on the birth certificate"

"How much older were they?"

"I'm not too sure to be honest but I did a bit of research and printed these out for you. Now remember that quote don't dwell on the past dream for the future."

"From drawinginspiration on Instagram really?"

"Hey! A quote a day keeps the hate away."

"Thanks,"

"Not a problem."

Helen walked out of my room almost immediately after that. I couldn't call her mum anymore. It's not that it felt wrong its just that I didn't know who mum was. Was your mum your carer or was your mum the person who gave birth to you? Or is your mother the person who gave birth to you. I have no idea anymore.

I held in my hand the things she had printed out. On the front had a picture of a car crash. It was truly horrific. It was a three car collision. I'd seen it on the news a couple of years ago but I didn't know it had anything to do with me. Hopefully it didn't. Perhaps it was a job one of my parents had to do. But I didn't want to start reading it now because I was in the middle of something but I put it right next to ACA. I would read it right after that.

I picked up the document I fell asleep reading last night and continued on. My eyes were heavy and my neck was sore. The pain inched to my shoulders and I was needing to move every few minutes. As I read the information was just repeated. There wasn't anything new. I found out about my grandparents. How many aunties and uncles I would have. It was good stuff to know. I enjoyed reading it. I couldn't get bored of all this information. But I could still get tired. Reading wasn't a strong point of mine. I love books and magazines but I have a terrible vocabulary and I have to sit with a dictionary when I read books. I find its terribly embarrassing because both my older siblings have perfect English. I'm more of a maths type of girl. I suppose how different we all are makes sense now. I was always really different to them and they were so alike to both mum and dad.

My older brother Nate came in ad sat with me for a bit and we talked and he was really nice. He also brought me breakfast which was a gods send because I'd barely eaten anything since I got this information. Apparently this is the first he has heard of me being adopted. While my sister Claire who is three years older than Nate had known about it for years. She is also like five years older than me so. She kind of hated me growing up so she would have hoped we weren't actually related.

After eating breakfast and leaving my room to have a shower I was back to the files. I continued to search through documents after documents and files after files and paperwork after paperwork until I got to ACA. Inside there was nothing to do with me. Except for an invitation to a christening. In fancy letters with cursive writing and beautiful designs surrounding was the letters ACA. The invitation was white with white doves and blue ribbons. My christening cards hadn't been white. I remember because mine were really weird and untraditional. The ACA stumped me until I opened the card. You are invited to attend the christening of Avery Charlie Ambrose.

Avery

A

Charlie

C

Ambrose

A

Angel

A

Charlie

C

Ambrose

A