Issues

Ellen

Emily's POV

I lifted my head off of Alison's chest and looked up at her. She was doing her best to conceal the fact that she had been crying throughout my story. I could see the millions of thoughts running through her mind as she looked down at me. I relaxed my head on her chest again, waiting for her to respond.

Alison took a deep breath and said, "Emily, I'm so deeply sorry that you had to go through something like that. That must have been just awful. I don't know how you get up every single day. I think something like that would just break me. Thank you for opening up to me like that. You're right, I did want to wait till you came to me with your story. I didn't want to push you. I'm sorry you lost all of those people you cared about, especially Maya. She sounded like she was incredibly important to you. Even though I feel awful that she passed away, I'm glad she was there to protect you while you were in danger. I'm sorry you're mourning the future you had planned with her. That can't be easy. I also want to say to you that I'm truly sorry and really ashamed of the way that I behaved when we first started getting to know each other. I instantly clumped you in with my ex. But Emily, I can see even more now that you're nothing like her. You never have and you never will be like her. You realized you needed help and you got the help you needed. You're trying to heal your wounds and I want to help you heal. I want to help bring you into a state of peace and real happiness. I want to take that journey with you. I want you to feel comfortable to talk to me about anything and everything that is bothering you. I want you.. and that means all of you... the good, the bad, and the ugly".

I smile to myself as I trace small circles on her stomach. Her words cause a warm feeling to overcome my heart and spread throughout my body. It makes me really happy to feel this close to her. It feels right to give a part of myself to her and to be vulnerable. She makes me feel safe. The difference between Alison and Maya is that Maya always made me feel physically safe. Alison makes me feel emotionally safe. My relationship with Maya was very different than my relationship with Alison. Maya and I were not on the same page in the relationship. She loved me but I wasn't quite there. I knew that I cared deeply for her, but I wasn't in love with her yet. Ali and I are on the same page with the development of our relationship.

It's been a week since my amazing date with Ali. It's been a week since I told her about my struggles. Today is the day that I will be interviewed by Ellen Degeneres about the lingerie  photoshoot and interview I did in Milan a few months ago. The magazine, with me in the cover, comes out tomorrow so I have to do a short promotional tour for it in LA. I invited Alison to join me, Hanna, Aria, and Spencer for the few days I'm in LA. She said yes, and I'm so excited to have her come with me. She'll stay back stage in my dressing room with Aria, Spencer, and Hanna during the interview, then we'll all sneak away to do explore LA in between interviews.

Now I love Ellen and she's always been kind to me, but I know she's going to ask me about my relationship with Alison. I'm coming prepared for that before the interview even starts. Alison is okay with me saying that I am in a relationship, it is serious, and I'm happy. But that's all they get to know. I agree with her completely.

It's less than a minute before Ellen will call me onstage. The girls styled me in a brightly patterned maxi dress with my hair in a long, intricate braid, highheeled wedges, and natural  makeup. I loved this look actually. It gave off such a Cali vibe and it was so comfortable.

"Now ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome, the beautiful and the very talented Emily Fields!" said Ellen.

The curtain lifted and I smiled wide and began to wave to the cheering crowd. I walked over to Ellen and gave her a big hug before sitting down in the guest chair.

"Oh you give great hugs" she said warmly.

"Oh my! Well thank you. You know how much I love you" I say reaching out to take her hand.