Issues

Thoughts

The next morning, I jetted off to Milan for the week to work on various photo shoots for different designers. The life of a model may seem like paradise; however, I'm here to tell you that it sucks. Especially since I know what normal life feels like. Sure I have a fabulous team of women that have been with me every step of the way from obscurity to international star. Hanna, my assistant and social media consultant, Aria, my hair and makeup queen, and Spencer, my phenomenal stylist, are my girls. They've been my rock through some very murky waters. Any assignment, any interview, any jet setting destination, they're right there with me.

In between shoots or on breaks, we did a some touring in the city. I swear I felt like I saw her everywhere. She was always on my mind. I kept replaying every move she made that night in the bar.

"Emily, what's wrong? You seem off today. Do you need to take a break," asked the photographer with a gentle smile. "Huh?... Oh I'm sorry. I'm fine. Let's continue" I reply not really meaning the words coming out of my mouth. The photographer walks up to me and says, "Okay well. Let me see if I can help you get in the moment. Obviously you're modeling tasteful, classy, and sexy corsets, bra, and underwear sets. I want you to feel sexy and empowered in them. Make me feel like you're trying to seduce the camera. Are you currently dating someone? If not, do you have a love interest? Whatever it is, I want you to picture yourself wearing this outfit for that person. Think about the emotions, thoughts, and desires behind that moment of anticipation before they see you. Then that moment finally arrives and they're there, standing before you. You're caught up in the moment. The sexual tension is virtually palpable. Now.... show me what that looks like".

I listened to every word that came out of his mouth, paused for a moment, and just smiled to myself. I thought of her again. Click! "Yes! There it is! Keep going" yelled the photographer rather excitedly. I thought of her in that black dress, the way she so effortlessly and unknowingly commanded the attention of the room. I thought about what it'd be like to kiss her lips and have those enchanting blue eyes looking up at me. Click! Click! "Yes! Give me more" he yelled. Soon Aria, Spencer, and Hanna were joining in with, "Damnnn girl", "You're looking so hot right now", "Who the hell are you thinking about?"

We finished the shoot soon after that. Before I left the set, the photographer stopped me and said, "Go ahead and keep that piece for whoever it is you were thinking of just now. They're clearly a source of inspiration and should really have a chance to see you in that in person". Giggling to myself, I smile and agree to keep the piece. Looking at myself in the mirror, I realized that it was my favorite piece of them all. I felt the sexiest in it and it really suited me. It was black, supportive, flattering, skin tight, and full of lace. Who knows. Maybe one day I will wear this for her.