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Today has been one of my good days. I haven't even had the urge to drink and I haven't had any intrusive thoughts or flashbacks. Aria, Hanna, and Spencer are over at my place, helping me get ready for the speed dating event this evening.

"T minus 2 hours ladies! Let's get to work" exclaimed Hanna excitedly as she plopped on my bed.

"I'll start on hair first. Hanna and Aria, you go fight over the outfit" said Spencer.

Leaning down to whisper in my ear, Spencer said, "That'll keep em busy for awhile. Now, really. Tell me how you're feeling and what you're thinking".

Spencer has always been the more philosophical, psychological, mature one of the group. She's taken on the role of a mom really. She's exactly what I need in this moment without Hanna making some sexual comment or Aria talking about how much she loves love. "Well if I'm being honest, I'm terrified right now. You know me, I am a mess. It's hard to love someone like me. I still think about her Spencer. But I also know that I need to grow up, start settling down, and find myself a good woman. I need to learn to push myself, be vulnerable, and get out of my comfort zone. So here I am. Emily Fields, going to speed dating. Now. What are we thinking with the hair?"

"First off Emily, it's very easy to love you. You don't understand how amazing you really are. You just have to find a girl that's willing to peel back all the layers of you and get through your rough and guarded exterior. Cause on the inside, there is nothing but pure gold. I'm so proud of you for thinking like this and acting like this. I'm not even sure I'd be brave enough to do this. But enough about that. Hair time. I'm thinking Dutch braid on the crown of your hair line, morphed into a half up half down hairstyle. The down part is loosely curled. Thoughts?"

"Absolutely! I love it! That's gonna look amazing. Thank you Spencer" I replied eagerly.

Busting back into the room, Aria and Hanna appeared holding my outfit in their hands. Giggling, Hanna said, "So after what 30 minutes of deliberation and fighting, we have settled on your outfit my dear. We hope you like it".

"Oh damn Spence. Her hair looks amazing! Anyway, Em, let's get started on the makeup. I'm thinking a very natural look tonight. Let's show off just how beautiful you are even without a ton of makeup. I'm thinking pale lips and light, shiny, golden brown eyeshadow. What do you think?" questioned Aria.

Knock, knock, knock! "Em hurry up! How long does it take to put in clothes? I wanna see your sexy self" yelled a clearly annoyed Hanna.

Her words were muffled in my ears for I was completely focused on the image I saw gazing back at me in the mirror. I thought to myself, who was this girl looking back at me? Who would have thought that shy, dishevelled art student would turn into a military soldier and then a world renowned model? I've changed so much in my life. I've grown more towards acceptance of myself, even the awful parts of my being. But tonight's not the night to think about the past. It's time to think about the future. Taking one final twirl in the mirror, I notice something. I'm smiling. Genuinely smiling. I feel pretty too and not like some sex object or just some designer's canvas to portray their desired image. I think this is my favorite look they've ever created for me.

I fling open the door to my three friends eagerly waiting to see their masterpiece come to life.
First I see Spencer. Her jaw is practically on the floor and she says nothing as she just stares at me. God bless Aria, she just starts crying like a Mom watching her daughter in her gown on her wedding day. And Hanna, oh Hanna. She just slow claps and yells, "DAYUUMMM!!! Take a spin for us". Pretending to be an announcer, she continues with, "Here we have Emily Fields, looking absolutely stunning tonight. Let's start from the top shall we? We have a classy Dutch braid half up half down hairstyle from the talented Spencer. Working our way down, we have a natural look with soft lips and big, shimmery eyes from the lovely Aria. Now on to outfit. From yours truly, and the fine assist from Aria, we have ourselves some swirly, dangling gold earrings, Bohemian style gold and pearl accented necklace, a simple tucked in white top covered by a fitted black blazer with scalloped trim, simply breathtaking shiny, gold patterned pants, and to top it all off, a pair of sky high, strappy, black heels".