The Destitute Queen || h.s. au

46. Harry

*last night*

     "I, um, I have to go."

     Before I can stop her, Lena turns around and runs from me.

     All I can do is stand frozen in my spot, not believing what just happened. She...she left me. I kissed her and she left me.

     Why the fuck did I do that? I ruined what we had just because I wanted to kiss her. I shouldn't have done that, now my chest hurts and Lena ran from me.

     Suddenly, I can't breathe. I fall to my knees and gasp for breath as I grab the dahlia on the ground. My eyes squeeze shut as I choke on the tears I didn't realize were falling. I showed Lena how I felt about her, and she destroyed me.

     It's all my fault, I shouldn't have done anything about my feelings. If I hadn't kissed her, she would still be here with me.

     But, I don't understand; she knew I was going to kiss her, yet she didn't stop me. She let me kiss her, so why did she run from me after?

     I spend nearly half an hour on my knees, wiping the tears from my face as I try to calm down. This can't be real, it just can't be.  I hope to God I'm only dreaming, and that I'll wake up any second in my room, thankful that this never really happened.

     But it did happen, and now I fear I've lost my Lena. My eyes go to the dahlia I have clutched in my hand, the one that I picked for her. The one she dropped on the ground.

     I slowly stand up, not taking my eyes off of the delicate flower. Sniffling, I wipe the remaining tears from my face and slowly walk out of the secret place.

     Where do I go from here? My life was centered on being with Lena, so what am I supposed to now? I can't just let this all go. Like it or not, I've become attached to her, almost dependent. She is the only thing that makes me happy, but now she's gone.

     Without any thought, my feet carry me all the way through the garden and, before I know it, I'm standing in front of Liam's door, clutching onto the flower like it's my only source of life.

     I pound on the door and shout, "Liam!" When I don't get a response, I continue pounding. "Liam!"

     The door swings open, revealing a disoriented Liam. His eyes are barely open and his hair is disheveled. "What...Harry? What are you doing-" Just the sight of him causes me to burst into tears once again. "What's wrong?!"

     He puts his arm around my shoulder and guides me inside his room. I wrap my arms around my brother and continue to sob.

     "I fucked up," I say through my cries. "Liam, I...I k-kissed her, and- and she r-ran away-y."

     I can hear him gasp slightly, and tighten his arms around me, rubbing my back. "It's okay," he whispers. "You'll be okay."

     "No, I won't be!" I exclaim, my tears not subsiding. "She was all I had, and now I have nothing."

     Liam doesn't say anything, he merely sighs and continues to rub my back. I'm such a fool for thinking Lena could ever reciprocate my feelings for her.

     We do nothing but stand as he tries to comfort me, my sobs being the only thing I can hear in this silence. The pain I can feel has never been felt before, the moment she left me is forever burned into my heart now. I thought she was my angel, the one who would make my life worth living. I guess I was wrong.

     "Mind telling me what happened?" Liam asks once I've calmed down a bit, and I nod. He gestures for me to sit on his bed, and he takes a seat next to me.