The Bucket List [#Wattys2018]

Chapter Thirty: Spilling Secrets

"Cause you've been hurt before, I can see it in your eyes. You try to smile it away, somethings you can't disguise." - dateyourlove.net
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"Amanda, what is it?" Liam placed his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me down so I can talk to him.

"Liam... I... I was.." I can't finish telling him. My body is shaken with violent sobs.

"Amanda, you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

I shake my head but I can't say anything.

Liam is the only one I can trust.

Concern fills his eyes.

"I have to tell someone." I cry out.

Liam nods and bites his lip, waiting patiently for me to tell him.

I suck in my breath.

"Liam... I was raped."

The last word is barely audible, but he heard it.

"Oh my gosh Amanda, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Liam asked me as he pulled me into a hug, I shake my head no as I sob into his chest. He runs his hand over my head, brushing my hair.

"Did you go to the Police?" Liam asked, I wipe my tears with my wrist. "N..no." "Why not?" "He's a lawyer Liam, he can get out of it, and then he'll come back and do it again because I told." I sniff.

"Does Amy know?" Liam's eyes widen. We both just realized what he said. Tears prick at my eyes, threatening to spill out once again. "I'm sorry." Liam whimpers, pulling me back into his embrace.

"I don't know what to do." I cry.

And to my most utter disappointment.

Liam said, "I don't know either."
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"Here." Liam said, handing me a glass of whiskey. "It helps take away a bit of the pain." He sadly spoke after I stared at it for a bit.

I tip the glass to my lips and feel the liquid go ruffly down my throat.

I take in Liam's appearance.

He just put on his glasses, but you could still tell that his eyes were tired, and dried out from crying. His red hair was messed up and sticking everywhere. Stubble stuck out on his chin. His T-shirt and boxers were wrinkled.

He was tired and depressed.

He raised his own glass to his lips, closing his eyes as he downed the glass, then pouring himself another.

He smelled like alcohol and old books.

"What are these?" I ask pointing to a stack of leather bound books sitting on the coffee table in front of us.

"Albums of Amy." Liam nearly whispered.

I look at him, asking for permission, he nods before standing up and sitting beside me to see them too.

Amy smiling, Amy laughing, Amy and I hugging, giving each other mischievous looks, sharing jokes that were only between us two. Amy kissing Liam, holding his hand. Amy, Amy, Amy.

I pour myself another glass quickly and drown it like Liam did.

Then another,

And another,

And another.

My words become slurred and my vision is blurred.

"Amanda?" Liam asked.

I leaned forward, biting my lip. "Liam! Hey buddy!" I give him a lopsided grin before leaning closer.

And then before I knew it, I had placed my hands on his face, and started kissing him.

Liam pulled back.

"Amanda stop, I love Amy, it isn't fair to her. You're drunk." Liam bit back tears.

"Please go home."

I stumbled down the street, before Liam jogged up to me. "I'll walk you home."

I tried to nod but my head felt like lead.

Liam took my arm and lead me home, placing a washcloth on my forehead once we got inside my room.

He gave me something gross to drink and made me lay on the couch. "Go to sleep Amanda, you'll just feel really sick and wonky tomorrow morning."

I try to wave goodbye at him but once I finally bring my hand up, he's gone, leaving behind the smell of old books, and me with a feeling of terrible guilt wallowing in the pit of my stomach.