The Bucket List [#Wattys2018]

Chapter Fifteen: No Destination in mind

"Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself until you learn
                       Your lesson"
                                 ••••••
I whip out my phone, text Amy, "code yellow". Just in a matter of seconds I receive a phone call from her.

I could feel his eyes on me.

Watching me.

My hair stood up on the back of my neck, my heart was beating so fast, I thought it was going to fly out of my chest.

"And if I did?" Paul asked, his breath hot on my neck, his lips were touching my neck, but ever so softly. He began to press his lips a little harder on my neck. My heart began to beat fast. He reached up and put his hands on the wall behind me, causing me to be pinned against the wall. "I don't know.." I replied softly. He turned his head around so his lips were barely above mine. I gulp nervously, and he runs his finger along my jawline, sending shivers from the back of my neck. I wanted him so badly. My eyes were screaming out "kiss me!!" But my mouth stayed quiet, just inches away from his.

"Amanda, I'll be over to pick you up, go back to the apartment, everything will be fine." Amy said over the phone. She stays on the line for a little bit, giving me the opportunity to act like I'm in shock and need to get going.

As I run to my apartment, I still feel his eyes on me.

His Ice blue eyes.

Like Ice that covers my heart, I feel a numbness inside. Will I ever get better?

Once I'm inside, I lean against my door. My chest feels like it's swelling up, I'm breathing fast, my heart is beating hard. I'm starting to cry.

I love him. I still love him.

When we made eye contact. I felt it. I felt that I still love him.

And I miss him. I miss that stupid idiot that broke my heart twenty years ago. I think what broke my heart more, Was not losing my boyfriend, but losing my best friend.

We were best friends for four years before we dated. I remember when we first met.

"Mind if I sit here?" A Ice blue eyed, blonde/brown headed boy asked. I shook my head no. I was shy, at ten years old. "I like your hair!" He piped. Over the summer I had dyed a strip of my hair purple. I smiled. "Thank you!" He looked pretty happy that he made me smile. And I had my second best friend then. But he could never be the best friend Amy was.

It was getting hard to breathe, I was clutching my chest with one hand and with the other, trying to wipe the mascara waterfall that was painting my face.

I could feel tears falling on my wrist.

"Don't cry baby." Paul wiped my tears away. I smiled and reached up for his hand, holding it with mine against my cheek. He smiled back. And we sat in silence, not needing to say anything more. He made me feel better.

Where was Amy!?

"Close your eyes!" Paul said, hiding something behind his back, "what is it!?" I exclaimed. He shook his finger at me. It was a surprise. I lunge forward and tackle him. We're both giggling, as we wrestle on the floor. Then we suddenly both stop, the realization came to both of us, that I was on top of him. My body pressed against his. Paul gives me a smug smile, and grabs my hair with one hand, pulling my lips down towards his.

No! Stop! I wipe at my tears and mascara more, and pull my phone up. The screen is lighting up with a notification.

Unknown number:

Wasn't unknown to me, he's kept the same number for years.

Hey! Saw you running earlier, brought back some old memories, how about we catch up soon!? :)

How about no...

Yes...

No...

I don't know...maybe.

I don't reply, I can't do this right now. I need time to get away. Time to think, time to forget, and time to bury or dig up old memories.
                            •••••••
"Take a road trip with no planned destination." I read off of my bucket list. The paper is thin and wrinkled. It feels soft to the touch.

Amy is looking over at me, she's worried. I haven't told her about what happened yet. I don't want to cry when we're on the road.

"Keep your eyes on the road." I scold her. She looks away, her eyebrows are furrowed. She'll understand when I tell her later.

"When do we know when to stop?" Amy asks finally, breaking the silence. "When it feels right."
•••••••
"We ended up in Hollywood." Amy says, laughing. I laugh too. "It feels right."

It took a couple of days, and a lot of hotels to get here.

It was dark now, we were both tired, our eyes were drooping, but the Hollywood sign made our eyes gleam.

"Hollywood...Hollywood Amanda." Amy can't believe this is happening. "Remember when I wanted to be a movie star?" Amy asked.

"And you can be my director!" Amy said, her pigtails swinging back and forth. A hot pink feather boa was wrapped around her neck, and she had on a purple princess dress. I hold the toy camera up. "Hi! I'm Amy Paige! And I'm the famous movie star from yours truly, "the Life of Amy Paige!"" She twirls around, and I giggle.

"Yes!" I remember.

Life was pure and sweet and simple when we were seven.