isn't it funny
how you found me
and i found you
innocent and young
and happy
and then we grew
and i joined
the 6.7 percent
and you
forgot how to
fall asleep
and then
we cared for each other
we filled the gaps
as best we could
and it wasn't enough
but at least
we weren't alone
and we didn't have
to fill those spaces
on our own
except
then it got too much
we were so busy
filling the spaces
for each other
that we forgot
how to be alone
and how to care
for ourselves
so we left each other
and the spaces opened up again
and i stopped sleeping
you started tearing
your beautiful skin
and now im
full of drugs
and alone
and oblivious
to whats going on
with you
isn't it funny
how i cherished you
and i guess
i still do
yet now
i cherish him too
i learned how to be alone
even though you
stripped me down
broke me
beat me
and tried your best
to fix me
without thinking about it
even though
you made it so impossible
to be alone
(so much in fact
that i needed
a goddamned
service dog)
and impossible
to fill spaces
on my own
i still learned to be alone
and then i relearned
how to have company
to let him help me
and not let him
overwhelm me
like i was stupid enough
to let you do
isn't it funny
how you broke me
and i fixed myself
and im learning to be happy
without you
isn't it funny
how i fixed myself
and im happy
happy
(at least
as happy as i can be
with this chemical
malfunction in
my brain)
without you
and yet
i lost all my fight
to you.
i can't stand my ground.
people stamp all over me
and that's okay
because im "patient"
and i know that i'll
"be better for it"
i can't be mad
when you snap at me
(was it me?
as you said i suppose
i can't know)
and remind me
that you left
and i can't be mad
when you tell me
im really
alone
i can't be mad
because i lost all my fight
to you
and you know what?
that's okay.
because my fight is gone
my fight isn't here
to trick me into thinking
i hate you.
because i dont
i could never
you built me into a better person
and i cant hate you
for the tools you used
while you did it
isn't it funny
how you broke me
and beat me
and bruised me
and scarred me
and yet
i have healed
better, more beautiful
than i was
before i met you
isn't that funny?
YOU ARE READING
secrets.
PoetryI am not happy. I don't know if I've ever been, or if I ever will be. Plenty of shit has happened to me, but plenty of shit has happened to everyone so I shouldn't feel special. I just wish I didn't have a normal person's life. I wish I didn't have...
