four years of my life
have been spent wrong.
ive been depressed for four.
fucking.
years.
i haven't had a chance
to be a happy, carefree
teenage girl
and i never got to be with her
without those heavy clouds
hounding me
suffocating me
it took me four years to get help
and im still in the process
but my dog is helping
(i dont get lost
when my anxiety gets so bad
that i forget what i did
an hour ago)
and the antidepressants
have made me feel
like i can take on the world.
and im starting to realize
that i should have fought harder
and that i shouldnt have let her leave
but, then again
that's what she wanted
because no
i cant hate her
and yes
i miss her
but she's fucking fine
and she's happy without me
and i can't just guilt her into coming back
she made a decision
and that's what makes her happy
that's what she wanted
so i need to let her be happy
and i need to let myself be happy
with the melatonin
that's letting me sleep
and the prozak
that's letting me laugh
and the dog
who's letting me calm down.
YOU ARE READING
secrets.
PoezjaI am not happy. I don't know if I've ever been, or if I ever will be. Plenty of shit has happened to me, but plenty of shit has happened to everyone so I shouldn't feel special. I just wish I didn't have a normal person's life. I wish I didn't have...
