Selfish Love [On Going]

CHAPTER ONE

"I want you ...

and the thought of anyone else having you

is like a knife twist in my dark soul."

Christian Grey

Gunner Della Vega is mine. The first time I laid my eyes on him, I knew, I would never love someone else. No one, but him. Nasa primary school pa lang ako noong una kong maramdaman ang kakaibang pagtibok ng puso ko kapag nakikita ko siya. He was the only one who could make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. He never left my mind, he was always there. This love, this feeling, is just me and Gunner - no one else.

You are just fond of him. Nothing serious, Bree said to me once. But no - it was not just a simple infatuation. It was more like an obsession. And yes, I am obsessed and madly in love with him.

"Hi Sofia!" Napilitan akong ngumiti sa kanya nang madatnan ko siya sa comfort room. Nakakainis dahil bukod sa akin at kay Raven, isa si Sofia sa pinakamayaman at magandang babae sa unibersidad. Mala-birhen kasi ang ganda niya. Yung tipong hindi makabasag pinggan? Yes, she is beautiful I must say. But of course, I am way prettier than her. They always say that I have this angelic, innocent and pure face that could make you stop dead in your tracks. Well, maybe that's the reason why my parents named me, Lyke Anne Angel in the first place. Pero ang hindi ko matanggap at hindi ko maintindihan ay kung bakit mas pinili siyang ligawan ni Gunner kaysa sakin.

"Hi ... Lyke." I could sense that she wasn't comfortable with me. Napilitan lang din siyang ngumiti dahil nakangiti ako sa kanya.

"So, kailan mo balak sagutin si Gunner?" Diretso kong tanong sa kanya habang pinagmamasdan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin. "Two weeks is long enough. Don't you think?"

I saw how her facial expression changed. She sarcastically looked at me on the mirror. "I don't rush things, Lyke. I am not like those girls who were so desperate to be Gunner's girlfriend. I'm not - like you."

It was like a gun shot through my heart. I bit my lower lip to compose myself. I know that it was pretty obvious, even before, that I do love Gunner and I don't care if everyone would know about it. "Oh, I think you misunderstood it Sofia. What I'm saying is, if you are really into someone - hindi mo na dapat pinapatagal pa." Pinagmasdan ko siya mula ulo hanggang paa. Saka ko siya bahagyang tinaasan ng kilay. "Kasi baka mamaya ... maagawan ka pa ng iba."

"Like the hell I care." Aniya saka siya umiwas ng tingin sakin sabay kuha ng lipstick sa kanyang pouch. "Alam ko namang hindi papatol si Gunner sa kapatid ng bestfriend niya." Tahasan niyang sabi.

Nagdilim bigla ang paningin ko ng marinig ko yon. It can be as true as fvck but it is so irrational. Gunner can love me and date me because I'm a woman. Why does he always see me as Raven's sister? Damn it!

I just suddenly found myself on top of Sofia. Nakasabunot ako sa buhok niya, at ganun din siya sakin. Halos malinis na namin ang tiles ng comfort room nang magpagulung-gulong kami dito. I was about to slap her really hard when someone suddenly pulled me up. Niyakap ako nito sa baywang saka ako nito iniangat.

"Put me down, Fox!" It was more like a command than a request. Nagpapapadyak ako sa hangin pero hindi niya ako binibitawan.

"Get out of here, Sofia." Utos niya dito. "I said, get out!"

Nagmamadali namang tumayo si Sofia at tumakbo palabas ng comfort room. Naramdaman kong lumakad si Fox patungo sa pintuan habang yakap-yakap pa rin ako sa baywang. Sumandal siya rito kaya ito sumarado. Then he let go of me and locked the door.

Magkasalubong ang kilay niya habang nakatitig sakin. "Don't hurt yourself trying to act cool enough to pick up a fight, Lyke."

"You are not Raven and definitely not my Dad, Fox. So stay away from me!" Halos lumabas na ang lalamunan ko sa pagsigaw ko sa kanya.

"You are Raven's sister! Sa tingin mo ba hahayaan lang kitang masaktan ng ganun-ganon na lang?"

You are Raven's sister. Parang sirang plaka iyon na nagpaulit-ulit sa utak ko. I hate and I love my sister at the same time. I love her for having the best and the worst friend in the world. I love her for being close to Gunner. Siya ang naging dahilan kung bakit ako nakakalapit dito. But I hated her for being the eldest and for simply being my sister. Dahil doon, nagkaroon ng limitasyon si Gunner sakin. At higit sa lahat, nagkaroon ng karapatan si Fox na pakialaman ako.

"So you think you're a superhero now?" Pagtataray ko sa kanya. "Well guess what Fox, I can take care of myself. I don't need a superhero! I don't need you!"

Pagkasabi ko noon ay bigla na lamang niya akong hinila sa braso. Isinandal niya ako sa pader saka niya hinawakan ang isa pa. Inilapit niya ang mukha niya sa mukha ko. Halos magkapalit na kami ng pagkatao sa sobrang lapit namin sa isa't isa. I could even feel his breath. I could hear him heavily breathing. I tried to escape him but his grip was too strong.

"Ilang beses mo na bang sinabi sakin yan?" Saglit niyang inilayo ang tingin niya sakin. He bit his lower lip then he slowly gazed back at me. "May nagawa ka ba para pigilan ako?"

Damn him! Kung legal lang talagang pumatay ng tao, siya ang unang-una sa list ko. His existence is intolerable. I can't even imagine how this guy and my sister became best friends. "Will you just please let me go? If you were trying to make an impression. I am not impressed at all."

"No - I'm not. I want more than that." Inilapit niya ang mukha niya sa mukha ko. I thought he was going to kiss me, but I'm glad he didn't. Idinikit niya ang labi niya malapit sa tainga ko. I suddenly felt a tingly feeling in me. I've never been so close to someone like this. It gave me goosebumps and it's kind of irritating.

I could feel his heart beating really fast. "I want to make you fall in love with me, Lyke." He whispered.

My eyes widened in shock as I heard his confession. I couldn't move, I couldn't even talk. How could this be more complicated?

Fox Stegner, the renowned player and lady-killer, is in love with me.

He got to be kidding me.