Selfish Love [On Going]

CHAPTER TWO

"Then I thought maybe

I just wanted him to be more than the sum of his parts."

Flipped

"I can't blame you for loving Gunner, Lyke." Sabi ni Bree habang enjoy na enjoy sa pagkain ng sandwich.

Bree and I became friends when I started my Junior High School life. She was the only girl that I think, would complement with my attitude. And I was right – I just found my perfect partner in crime.

"Think of it this way, imagine someone who is so good-looking, so handsome, that your heart starts breathing really fast, you start to feel short breath, and you just drop down dead! That's how gorgeous he is!" She exclaimed.

"You could just simply say drop-dead gorgeous, Bree."

"But he's more than that, you know."

I just nodded.

Gunner and I used to be so close to each other. Lagi akong nanunuod ng dance performance niya, even his baseball games. Lagi akong sumasama kay Raven para iparamdam sa kanya ang suporta ko. He loves to dance aside from playing baseball. And it was one of the reason why I fell in love with him. Coz aside from being clever and attractive, he knows how to fascinate people by just merely dancing.

Then things started to change after Gunner graduated from Primary School. He became serious and focused. Hindi na niya ako masyadong pinapansin katulad ng dati. Kahit na araw-araw sila noon sa bahay ay mas marami siyang time na mag-aral kasama sila Raven at Fox kaysa sa kausapin ako. And I hated it!

"Do you think he is really into Sofia?"

Tinignan ko si Bree ng masama. "Ulitin mo pa yang tanong mo, ipapalunok ko sa'yo ng buo yang sandwich na hawak mo."

Gunner never had a steady relationship. Puro simula lang, walang magandang ending. But he's far from being like Fox. He is not a womanizer. He was just being honest with them. If he couldn't give the same love or more, he will suddenly call the relationship quits. He said he was just being fair. Hindi kagaya ni Fox na kabig lang ng kabig. Wala siyang pakialam sa nararamdaman ng mga babaeng pinagsasabay-sabay niya.

"Lyke, can I talk to you for a minute?" Alam na alam ko kung sino ang may-ari ng boses na yon. Isa lang naman ang taong pwedeng makapagpatigil ng tibok ng puso ko. And I wasn't able to move for a second.

"Speaking of the devil." Bulong ni Bree.

Mahina ko siyang sinipa sa ilalim ng mesa. Bahagya siyang napangiwi.

"Y-yes, of course." I smiled sweetly at Gunner.

Lumakad si Gunner sa bandang sulok ng cafeteria. I stood up and followed him. Sumandal siya sa pader habang pinagmamasdan ako at hinihintay na makalapit sa kanya.

"Anong ginawa mo kay Sofia?" In a dead serious tone of voice.

Bigla akong nangapa ng isasagot ko sa kanya. That bitch! Bakit kailangan niyang magsumbong kay Gunner?

"I was just being friendly. Masama ba yon?"

"I know you too well, Lyke. You wouldn't do such thing without a reason!" Mariin niyang sabi sakin. He never talked to me this way, ngayon lang.

"So is it my fault now?" Nangingilid na ang mga luha ko. Hindi ko matanggap na dahil lang kay Sofia, magagalit si Gunner sa akin ng ganito. Siya ang kakampi ko sa lahat ng bagay dati. Bakit ngayon pa niya ako hindi paniniwalaan?

"Stop acting like you didn't do anything wrong, Lyke! I'm sick and tired of it!"

I can feel my cheeks getting wet with tears. I don't remember crying for pain for the last few years of my life. The pain is like a knife being twisted in my heart after hearing that from Gunner. I gritted my teeth, making sure that I won't make a sound.

"Stop it, Gunner!"

"Of course, you are there again to save me from distress!" Galit na galit kong sabi ng lumingon ako kay Fox. "I told you to stay away from me!"

"What is happening here?" I heard Raven's voice but she was too late for the scene. Marahil ay nakatingin sila sakin habang tumatakbo ako palayo. I want to escape that damn place, this damn feeling.

Maliit lang ang mundong ginagalawan namin ni Gunner. At alam kong kahit anong pag-iwas ang gawin ko, magtatagpo at magtatagpo ang landas namin. Masasaktan at masasaktan ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako susuko sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Hindi ko alam paano tumigil, kung kailan hihinto.

"Lyke!"

Napapikit na lang ako nang marinig ko na naman ang boses na yon. Oh Lord please, paalisin mo na siya. Hindi ko siya kailangan sa buhay ko!

"Can you just please leave me alone, for once!" Pakiusap ko sa kanya.

"Why would I do that? Eh di lalo kang nalungkot kapag iniwan kita." Nakangisi niyang sabi sakin. This guy is really insensitive. "Here, punasan mo yang luha mo. Nakakairita kang tignan."

Hindi ko tinanggap ang panyo niya. Sa halip ay tinignan ko siya ng masama.

"I'm sorry. I just want you to stop harassing people because of Gunner. I want you to stop being pathetic."

Muli kong ibinalik sa kanya ang tingin ko, "What are you talking about?"

"I was the one who told Gunner about you and Sofia."

Lumapit ako sa kanya saka ko siya sinampal ng malakas. Hindi ko alam kung anong kagaguhan ang pumasok sa isip niya para sabihin yon kay Gunner. At para masaktan ako ni Gunner ng ganito.

"I hate you so much Fox Stegner, so much that I wish you would rot in hell!"

Dahan-dahan niyang ibinalik ang tingin niya sakin saka siya muling ngumisi. "You really know how to make me fall in love with you even more, aren't you?"

Napalitan ng galit yung sakit na nararamdaman ko. I stared at him like I could rip off his face and pull his eyes out of his skull. "Damn you!" Akmang sasampalin ko siya ulit ng bigla na lamang niya akong hinawakan sa baywang at hinila palapit sa kanya. He clutched his finger on my nape and drew me closer to his face. Then, it was too late for me to resist. My eyes widened as his lips found and brushed mine. His kiss was hard and demanding. It could almost slit my lower lip apart as he kept on pressing his lips against mine.

Nang maramdaman kong lumuwag ang pagkakahawak niya sakin ay buong lakas ko siyang itinulak. We were both gasping for air, nang magkahiwalay kami.

"You only belong to me, Lyke. You are mine. Always. And will be."