band aids ↠ joshler ✔

s e v e n

1 year and 10 months until

●

tyler and josh sat next to each other on josh's bed, their backs against the wall, hands placed on top of each other.

"hey," tyler said, making josh fear his eyes away from the window and land on tyler.

"yeah?"

"l-look what i f-found," tyler told him with a smile before holding up a small, rubber ball. "n-now this p-place really feels l-like a p-p-prison," he stuttered before throwing it against the opposite wall, watching as it bounced off and landed back in his hand.

tyler threw it again, but this time, josh caught it. smiling at tyler, he threw it, and watched as it landed in tyler's hand again.

"so what," josh said, "a game?"

"it's b-bet-t-ter than n-nothing," tyler replied, smirking back.

"eh," josh grinned.

"what? you'd-d-d rather d-do n-nothing?"

"for some reason... i'd rather do this," josh said, intertwining his and tyler's fingers.

"yeah, b-but n-now what?" tyler asked.

josh leaned his head on tyler's shoulder.

tyler softly smiled, letting the ball drop to the floor, happily opting for a nap with josh instead.

-

"i think- i think i figured it out," josh told schizo later that day. he was nervous and re-adjusting himself way too much, shifting in his chair every five minutes. he couldn't stop fidgeting.

"you did now?" schizo asked.

"i... i think i like tyler. more.. more than friends."

schizo nodded, crossing her legs.

"i guess i didn't realize because i was only 18 before i was, well, you know, but... it's weird. i always knew i was bi, but i just never liked anyone the way i like tyler." josh rambled, flipping himself so his legs rested on the arms on the chair while the rest of him was on the floor.

"is this a good thing, you liking tyler?" schizo asked.

"no! i can't, it's fucked up!" josh exclaimed. "but at the same time, i don't know how you can't fall in love with him. his little stutter, his brown eyes, his-"

"joshua," schizo in, her voice suddenly serious. "do you like him, or are you in love with him?"

josh gulped, letting his legs fall on the ground in anguish. "i don't know..."

"do you remember what i told you before?" the therapist asked, looking at josh over the rim of her glasses.

"i dunno..."

"i highly suggested not taking action."

"so you mean, like, don't tell him?"

"i suggested it."

"you're my therapist, dude, you need to tell me stuff."

"you killed tyler's mother,"

"i know, you don't need to be so... blunt." josh said, rubbing his eyes.

"how do you think he, as your boyfriend, would react?"

josh sighed, sitting back up in his chair. "i don't want to tell him, i don't want him to know... i know it's wrong and messed up, but i think i would be doing more harm by telling him..."