band aids ↠ joshler ✔

f o u r t e e n

1 year

●

"so there's nothing you can do?" josh asked schizo the next day.

"i told you, joshua, there's not. i already asked once, you and tyler are just going to have to deal with it."

"but i hate it in the acute ward, and tyler does too! people are always coming and going, getting into fights, or complaining 24/7."

"you complain too, joshua,"

"yeah, but that doesn't count. i've been here nearly four years."

"there are no other rooms available for you and tyler to move to, unless you two would like to be separated?" schizo suggested.

"no! no, no way, but-"

"no, we're off the subject."

josh groaned, re-adjusting in his uncomfortable chair. "did you hear about the fight yesterday, at least?"

"i don't have ears throughout the hospital, so no, i didn't."

"well it was awful and i'm sure it won't even be the last one! the people we used to eat lunch with were dismissed and replaced with two others and a fight broke out and-"

"and how did watching a fight make you feel?"

"what?"

"well, looking at your tendencies,"

josh groaned again, louder this time. "oh, yeah. totally spiked. all i felt was the urge to grab the person next to me and slit their throat."

schizo rolled her eyes at josh's use of sarcasm.

"i'm not joking around, joshua."

"oh my god, will you drop it with the joshua shit? it's just josh."

schizo looked up at josh with nodded eyes before looking back down, ignoring his request. "and how did tyler respond to the fight?" she asked.

josh perked up, "why do you want to know?"

"answer my question, please."

"how do you think he would react? by jumping on a table and cheering them on? no, he hated it. wouldn't stop shaking. i think maybe it was ptsd from his mom."

"and how did seeing him in that state make you feel?"

"well i obviously hated seeing him like that just as much as he hated watching the fight. we just kind of sat there in each other's arms until lunch ended. he said he didn't have an appetite."

schizo nodded, "now, do you want to leave the acute ward because you don't like it, or because you don't like seeing tyler like that?"

josh shrugged, "both, i guess."

schizo raised an eyebrow.

"fine." josh admitted, "tyler."

"have you told him how you feel yet?"

josh shuffled in the chair again before muttering a, "no..."

schizo wrote something on her clipboard quickly before letting josh continue.

"it's just, the whole backstory thing, and it's all so weird. he's also confused about his sexuality at the moment, so that's helping,"

"what?" schizo interrupted.

"yeah, we were talking about it the other day. he said he used to have a girlfriend but felt like she was more of a best friend or something, and he said he never even knew of the lgbtq community, meaning his mom was probably some shallow homophobe who kept him in the dark."

the therapist wrote something on her board again as josh continued.

"so i don't want to be like, "hey by the way i'm in love with you," because then it'll be more confusing and i'll feel bad and- well, you know?"

schizo nodded, "you only have one year left here anyway, joshua."

"your point? you don't even want me to be with tyler because of the- the thing, you know."

"my point is that you'll only know him for another year."

"and?"

"and that's it."

"that's shit, it doesn't even tell me anything. i already knew that."

"just think about it, joshua."

"it's just josh."

"you've been telling me that for years."

"because it's true."

"i know it's true, joshua."

"you're the worst therapist in the world, you know that, right?"

"thanks." schizo said with a smile, making josh scoff.

a minute of silence passed with josh just picking at first under his nails while schizo wrote on her board.

"now, real questions," schizo stated suddenly, making josh groan for a third time.

"fire away!" josh responded sarcastically.

"if you were to be dismissed tomorrow, do you think you'd commit another homicide?"

"what? no, i wouldn't. i'm not that dumb." josh answered, though he was thinking something different. 'depends."

"would you carry out violent crimes?"

"no,"

'again, it depends.'

"would you want to face your old friends and family again?"

"yeah, to apologize and explain and stuff."

'no way in hell.'

"do you feel guilty?"

"yeah,"

'nope.'

"would you ever do anything to harm tyler?"

"no,"

'no!'

"would you ever hurt anyone if they hurt tyler?"

"i'd threaten them probably, but never do anything."

'i'd put them in their graves.'

-

"what are your guy's favorite pick up lines?" brendon asked later that day, his head on dallon's lap while he looked up at the sky.

"i dunno," josh responded, "what's yours?"

"you're not even ready for this," brendon said, clearing his throat, "are you google? because you have everything i'm looking for."

tyler and josh simultaneously rolled their eyes at how cheesy the line was, but dallon slightly smirked, making brendon smile widely.

"that was the worst thing i've ever had to hear with my own ears," josh stated in disgust.

"oh, c'mon dude, you loved it!" brendon defended himself, though nothing he could say would make up for the terrible line.

"i-i have one," tyler spoke up, to everyone's surprise.

a smile grew on the brunet's face as the others waited in anticipation for what he might say.

"the songs on-n-n the r-radio are ok-kay," he grinned, "b-but my t-taste in m-music is... your face!"

brendon let out a groan as dallon tried to look supportive, but josh couldn't help but smile, he even laughed lightly at the joke.

"that doesn't work as a-" brendon began, only to have his mouth covered by dallon's hand, stopping him from continuing.

"did you come up with that?" josh asked, leaning into tyler, who was also smiling to himself.

"yeah," tyler answered, "i said it t-to j-jenna."

"i understand why she wanted to go out with you then," josh said, making tyler giggle.

josh liked the view.