To Lose A Loved One (Johnlock)

Chapter Five

AN: Warning: drug references near the end

JOHN

"Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives."

The ending credits rolled as John flicked the TV off, he'd just watched Doctor Who "the forest of the dead" to be fair it had upset him, seeing River die after just seeing the Doctor again. It had been three weeks since John had seen Sherlock, he had barely left his flat only when necessary, he'd sat through five TV show marathons, eaten a tonne of ice cream, and yet he still couldn't muster the courage to get up and speak to him.

John felt empty without Sherlock he knew he'd be back out solving cases doing whatever he could to not be bored because that was Sherlock, he was a machine with no emotions, unable to understand why John was upset. John reached for his phone which had laid untouched since the day Sherlock had returned, switching it on he saw five unread text, two from Greg, two from Harry and one from Sherlock, his sister was just drunk texting him like usual, Greg asked if he wanted a drink or a meet up which John just ignored, he considered ignoring Sherlock's but he had to know what he said

Go forward in all of your beliefs,

and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.

That was not mistaken in saving you,

But even if I had died on St Bart's rooftop saving you

It would have been worth it.

Goodnight John Watson

- SH

Johns eyes felt hot with tears threatening to fall, Sherlock had cared and only wanted to protect him but still John couldn't forgive him, his eyes flicked towards the diary which he had posted, he hadn't read anymore and now he was tempted to, he pulled himself up and reached for it flicking to a random page

"When you're a kid, they tell you it's all... Grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better. From a young age I believed I wasn't normal, that I was a freak, unnatural, that changed the day I met John, he made me feel normal, he was a friend, my only friend, the only one I needed, and I swear on my own life that I'll keep him safe, he's done so much and pulled me from a dark place, so I'll help as much as I can. It nearly cost my life before and in the end if it does cost it I won't mind, because I'll be saving his."

That was it for John, the tears fell fast and hard, he reached for his phone tapping out a reply.

SHERLOCK

Sherlock lay in his mind palace until his phone beeped with a text alert, groaning he grabbed it,

John

Sherlock smiled hoping he was forgiven

Sherlock I'm sorry, I understand why you done it,

And I realised you aren't a machine, but I can't.

I can't return knowing you done that,

You left and nothing will change that Sherlock, I'm sorry.

So it's time to move on, find a new friend,

A new colleague, I'm trying my hardest,

It won't be hard for you, you can just delete it all.

Please though, just for me, don't forget our friendship,

All the cases, all the laughs, I'll miss you Sherlock Holmes,

But this is for the best.

- JW

"FUCK!"

Sherlock threw his phone against the wall the loud noise it made satisfied him, Sherlock returned to his mind palace in hope what he'd just read was a dream,

'How could John think I could just forget?'

'But you can'

'What makes him think I want to forget?'

'The fact you left him for two years'

'John Watson, my blogger, my only friend, the man I love, I'm so sorry'

As Sherlock lay in his mind palace he stated to see his old cases play out

A study in pink

Dr John Watson: [after Sherlock has just explain his working out of Watson's veteran status, his war wound and his sibling's drinking problem] That... was amazing.

You think so?

Of course it was. It was extraordinary. It was quite extraordinary.

That's not what people normally say.

What do people normally say?

"Piss off"...

He'd made Sherlock feel normal for a moment

A few more played out till Sherlock couldn't help but laugh

Are you wearing any pants?

No.

After his laughing ceased he realised that was it, no more John, no more blogger, he'd lost him and it was his fault.

Sherlock looked at his arm where he'd placed the needle two weeks ago he'd relapsed after John told him he wouldn't forgive him, the drugs made the loss of John better, he'd cheer up until the effects wore off then he'd go back to his depressed state.

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AN: I've already wrote the next two chapters and all I can think is what is happening, but I made drama, it happens I'm the next 2-3 chapters

Bye