One Last Time

2

Here he comes. Here he comes!

His big hand pushes the black door open. The world stops and all I see is him coming in. He looks around the place as always. I'm in the corner of the store tapping my nails on the mug

I still wonder how I got myself to be in love with this man.

I was just an ordinary girl living her normal life. I always came here to get my coffee but ever since that cold December morning when Justin walked in, I didn't feel normal.

I felt love at first sight.

I saw him in line. I was sipping my dark brewed coffee in this exact same spot. I ended burning myself because when I saw his face it was as if no other face can be compared or worth more value than his.

I was brave back then.
I remember since this place didn't give out napkins at the check out so you must get it at the table where all the straws and stuff are.

I got up from my seat. I walked to that counter and got napkins right when he reached for them. His hand was so soft. I wanted them intertwined with mine. He tugged his hand away and we both made eye contact. "Oh sorry." His husk voice echoed in my ears. I was looking into his hazel eyes for too long without saying a word like a normal person would. I didn't realize I was staring that it made him uncomfortable, then those eyes darted away. He grabbed his napkins and immediately went out the shop.

That's when I wasn't brave no more.
I knew at that exact moment I possibly can't speak to him. I'll stay lost in those eyes.

That night I went home and moaned his name as my fingers cruised through my body.

I hated it.

I never do that to myself and when I did it just screamed desperation for this man. I should've stop loving him there. No, I still went on. It went downhill because everyday my mind was stuck on him.

It's been almost half a year now.
Justin still doesn't know me.
Justin still hasn't said anything to me.

FUCK

It's pointless. This love is pointless.
It's going nowhere.
I'm mentally harming myself.
I feel like crying now.
This is the thing about love
It can bring you down and destroy every bit of your heart. Or maybe it's just me.

I'm seeing him leave now. He walks out that door with his cup of coffee in his hands.

Just come back please

Please talk to me

Please know I'm here.

He doesn't come back though.
He has places to go and so does everyone else.

Even though you hurt me Justin
I still love you in every way.