Begin Again

Chapter 3

The weeks that followed went by in a blur. I had to find a place to stay and arrange for my stuff to be sent to me from Pretoria, not to even mentioning the craziness that was work and trying to find my feet there as well.

Things with me and Claire are a bit stiff but I assured her there are no more feelings between me and Brandon, just old friends bumping into each other. But I must admit even though I told her we were just friends. I knew I was lying.

I will always love Brandon and I would never be able to be just friends with him. But respecting their relationship I will keep my distance. That was the whole reason I picked Cape Town, as I was sure that would be the one place I would never find him.

It's the last place I would have expected him since he hate the beach. I thought he would be somewhere off playing rugby for a living making loads of money and dating the head pompom girl. But hey just shows you, you never really know someone all the way.

"Hey Claire is the penthouse suite set up for Mr & Mrs Sanders? They will be arriving in the next hour and you know how insane that women gets if everything is not perfect. I had them in Ireland a few times and they drove the staff and me crazy."

"(Laughing) Yeah don't worry I know. The one time she had us spring cleaning the entire suite at ten o'clock at night because she found a speck of non-existent dust and freaked out. Me and the previous manager spend three hours that night cleaning the place again all the while she was bitching about how important the look and quality of a hotel is and how we must pride ourselves on our quality bla bla bla. By the time we were done I was ready to jump off the balcony or maybe rather just push her off it."

"O My! I can just imagine." I say laughing "Let's go check the room one more time just for in case we missed that spec of non-existent dust."

"Ai ai boss." And so we head off to the room.

After checking and re-checking, me and Claire were satisfied that we will not be doing any spring cleaning at midnight so we headed back down to reception to await Mr & Mrs Sanders arrival.

"Listen Claire can I just talk to you about Brandon for a minute. I really just need to clear the air." I say pointing over to the couches in the lounge.

"Uhm okay."She says very hesitantly

Sitting down she just keeps looking at me waiting. I try to find the right words but in the end settled for finding out what she knows.

"How much did Brandon tell you about his high school days?"

"Not much. John would always mention something about high school and then Brandon would change the subject. Once or twice I asked him about it and all I got out of him was that his first high school girlfriend got pregnant with his best friends baby an tried telling him it was his. But I know there is more to it. Because every time I bring it up the sadness stays in his eyes long after the conversation had ended."

"Yeah Kimberly. His best friend back then was Danny. The boy's name is Danny Jnr. Don't know if she and Danny ever got together but yeah that hurt him bad especially because it was his best friend. It took him a long time to get over that."

" Yeah I could tell. He did mention you once in passing. I didn't put two and two together because he described you a lot different than what you are now."

Touching my shorted hair and darker hair I could understand how she would miss that as well as me telling her I moved here from Ireland.

"Yeah back then I was really screwed up. What did he tell you?"

"Well at first just that you where his math tutor and that in his senior year he fell for you. But that you had stuff to sort out and then you left. And then the other night at the bar he told me about you dumping him over the phone while he was waiting at the airport for you. Which makes sense now since when I met him he really was in a bad place. It took me forever just to get him to ask me out and then he only did it so I would stop pestering him."

"I'm sorry I screwed with his head. But I'm glad he found someone like you. I can see you are an amazing person and you really care about him. So I figure he didn't give you any details as to me?"

"No, I asked John about you once and he basically shut me down by telling me it's a story Brandon had to tell me. When I asked Brandon about it again he just told me he would like to forget about the past and focus on our future."

"Well I suppose I have to agree with John having Brandon tell you but since it's my story as well I'll give you the clip notes. I still think Brandon should be the one to fill in the blanks."

Nodding she only looked at me waiting for me to tell her my story. Taking a deep breath I tried to think where to start for this to make any sense to her.

"Before I get into details I need you to understand one thing. Any feelings I had for Brandon is long gone. I promise you. I left them all with him at the airport when I left for Ireland. But I do owe him my life and for that I will always be grateful to him." Well that was only a partial lie and a partial truth. But I had to try and put her at ease.

I could see I was just confusing her more with each passing second so I took a deep breath and allowed my mind to go back to its darkest corner.

"I was a quiet kid in high school. Stayed out of the popular crowds' way but always ended up in the middle of the fire any way. But in grade nine my family went through a tragedy. I lost my little brother, dad, aunt and my mom all in a span of a month."

"So yeah I was basically had no one except one aunt in Ireland. So I moved there. When I came back in my final year I would have loved to believe I had dealt with the past but not so much and not long after I returned I fell back to my old ways. It got so bad at one point that I decided to take my own life."

I could see the shock register on her face. I tried to spare her the gory details but some things you cannot skip over even if you tried. Believe me I tried.

"Brandon was the one who found me and saved me. Hence me owning him my life. He stood by me through all the treatments and such to get me well again and well by the time the end of the year came we were in love."

"Well I was always in love with him since way before but I think he only developed feelings that year. We got together at our farewell dance and then in December I got on a plane and left. I was planning to return and we could start a life together but as you now know that didn't happen."

She looked at me a long time before she finally said something.

"You broke his hearth you know that. Even though he said you didn't, you did. You can ask John even he will tell you. The Brandon you saw the other night, it took me about six months to see that Brandon after we started going out and in a span of five seconds he became that heartbroken boy again."

"Yeah I know I hurt him and I owe him an explanation but what I wanted to achieve by telling you this is that except for that explanation I will not bud into his life unless he allows me to. And if he never allows me then I will stay clear of him, of you guys and leave you in peace. But if he ever gives me a chance to tell him what happened I will."

She as quiet for a long time after that before she finally got up. Looking over her shoulder she says to me

"Don't hold your breath. You might just die this time around."

And with that she left.

I think it's safe to say she is also pissed at me for what I did to Brandon and to be fair I didn't really give her an explanation as to why I didn't come back but I promised myself that if I ever got the chance Brandon would be the first to get that explanation.