Begin Again

Samantha's Final Letter To Brandon

Brandon

I sit here thinking about you, not thinking about me and my heart breaks a little bit more.

I have been in love with you for 18 years and I am so sorry it took me this long before I started to fight for you, to compromise for you and to sacrifice myself for you.

I know by the time you read this letter that you would have said you're I Do's with Claire. And even though it is breaking me into pieces just thinking about it I know it was the right choice to make.

Claire loved you enough to fight for you from day one, she loved you enough to compromise for you from the moment you gave her your heart and she loved you enough to sacrifice herself for you if it meant that you could be happy.

But just know one thing, I have missed you incredibly when we are apart, no matter the length of time my love never fades.

But I was a coward for not having enough faith in your love for me to allow you to stand by me in my tough times. I'm sorry I pushed you away and broke your heart more times than I care to admit to.

But I finally realized that I was the one at fault for all that had gone wrong between us and you were right to turn me down that night at the café. You were right to ask Claire to be the one to spend your life with as I know she will stand by you no matter what, she will support you and carry you when it is needed and I know you will do the same for her.

It breaks my heart to write the above to you but I know every word I have written is the truth.

I hope you find it in you to someday forgive me for all I have done to you. But I will make you one final promise before I say goodbye.

I promise you that from this day on I will no longer barge into your life at the most inconvenient times, I will not confuse your head or try and lead you a stray, I will gracefully bow out and tell you to be happy with Claire.

To live your life and have a full life with Claire, to be happy and content in your future and to never wonder if you made the right choice. Because you did, you make the right choice choosing her.

Just know that I will never stop loving you and that I will forever be in love with you.

But I finally realize what it means to love someone that much that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for them.

I Love You Brandon Anthony Gillen

Always Have, Always Will

This is the last good bye I promise

Ps. That picture I gave you of our first dance, it has a gift at the back, one you asked for, one I was always to afraid to give you.

Xoxo

Sam