Can You Feel My Heart [Fransykes]

Chapter 15

A/N: Hmm... It's Easter, so here you go guys - an extra Chapter! It's not too long anyways, happy Easter my lovely readers!💜✌️

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I woke up with a panic attack. My breathing was painfully uneven and my heart was pounding as I was running a marathon and not sleeping till now.

"Fuck... Fuck..." I hissed as I sat up in my bed gripping my pillow as I tried to even out my breathing.

Fuck, why now?!

I lied back down in my bed letting my nerves shake out knowing that fighting it off won't help.

It was as terrifying as always, but I just let it be this time. I probably deserved this one anyways. At least I was alone in my room so I didn't have anxiety about other people seeing me in this state.

Eventually my breathing evened out and my heart rate slowed down and I turned around in my bed pushing my face into my pillow to get rid of the tears that appeared in my eyes.

Then when I took a few deep breath just to be sure I had control over myself again I took my phone from the night stand beside my bed and called my mom.

"Hey honey." She answered after the second ring. "Is everything okay?"

"Y-yes." I stuttered, but it was barely noticeable. "I just wanted to tell you that I'd be at Matt Kean's place for the rest of the day."

"Okay, just don't do anything stupid and tell me if you don't feel well." She told me worrying and reading between the lines as always.

"I will, but I'm fine really." I said.

I had a good relationship with my mom. That's because she had anxiety issues when she was younger and it was easier for her to understand me than for my dad and Tom. I think she even finds herself responsible for my depression and panic attacks because she didn't do anything about the bullying that happened back in Sheffield, but in all reality she wasn't even able to do anything. She traced help, but it was the teachers that didn't do shit.

"Okay, take care. I love you, bye." She told me.

"Bye mom, love you too." I said then hung up immediately after that calling Vegan.

"Hmm?" He muttered when he answered after the third ring.

"Hey dude can I come over?" I asked.

"I'm not sure if you'll want that, I'm hungover as fuck." He said and I can hear in his voice that he was, in fact, very hangover.

"I don't care, I need to talk to you." I told him.

"Fine. I'm home alone anyways." He said. "The front door is open, my room is the second door on the right on the second floor."

"Okay. I'll be there in 20." I said then hung up throwing on some clothes.

When I exited my room I practically bumped into Josh.

I stiffened.

This was exactly the reason I wanted to disappear from this house at least for a day. I couldn't handle looking at Josh after what happened last night, regardless if he remembered or not.

"Do you know where the painkillers are?" He asked me.

"No." I just said heading towards the staircase trying not to look at him.

"Hey, wait." He ran towards me.

Why did he have to make this even more difficult for me?