Can You Feel My Heart [Fransykes]

Chapter 23

A/N: Soo a thing happened in the last chapter where I kinda got caught up in my thoughts and mixed up Chris and Dan. The ending part of the last chapter with the texts is all Dan and not Chris. If you're extra confused with what I just said just go read the ending of the last chapter again it's all fixed up now. I'm sorry lmao, anyways, new chapter... Proceed.

__

I shifted in my bed for the 9th thousand time in just the past hour. I've woken up like two hours ago and I couldn't sleep since.

I glanced over at Josh who was peacefully lying in his bed not moving a muscle. I wondered how could he just sleep after what happened.

For me it felt like the emptiness I've felt for years found its way back into my soul. My body was exhausted, but my mind was wide awake as my brain jumped to pointless conclusions that didn't indicate to anything particularly positive.

Eventually I gave up on my attempt to go back to sleep as I threw the covers off of me and took my phone to check the time.

4 am.

I rubbed my eyes trying to get rid of the burn that appeared with the watery feeling of my eyes producing more tears.

I was probably overreacting, I told myself over and over again. Josh's probably gonna wake up tomorrow clear-headed and it'll all be alright. He was probably just upset - not with me but the fact that somebody would want to play with us using Abigail. It probably also bothered him that after almost a year Abigail still hasn't let him out of her grip.

Still, no matter how positive I'd try to think I felt like crying. So before I got to that I got up and quietly slipped my jeans heading for the door.

I couldn't stand just watching Josh and no knowing what he was feeling. What he was thinking - dreaming. Into what his thoughts manifested. It drove me insane and I had to get out. I had to focus on something else - anything else. Make my brain work slower.

I unlocked the door of our hotel room and stepped into the dark cold hallway.

I probably wasn't even thinking straight as I walked down the hallway not knowing where I was going, but my legs kept moving without my brain's command anyways.

The path I followed was mainly dark, but I found dark to be comforting in this moment. Just like old days - dark and loneliness.

Could this actually trigger my depression again?

I almost laughed at the thought. It would be a miserable laugh though. I was overreacting and I knew it. Josh believed me.

But for how long? The voice in my head that fed off of the smallest negative things that happened to me was back. How much time will it take before Dan finds a way to tear Josh and I apart for good?

I can't let that happen. I need to fight back.

Did Chris even know Dan actually has a thing for Josh? I could tame Dan by threatening him I'll tell Chris all about his crush, but Chris wouldn't believe me and Dan knows that.

This was such a complicated situation and I honestly saw no way out.

Ironically however, as I moved my gaze from the ground upwards, I saw bluish lights shining from the end of the long hallway. As I got closer to the blue lights I realized it was actually a bar.

I contemplated my next move for a second before I walked further down the hallway eventually stumbling to the bar that was pretty much empty.

I sat at the bar table not knowing why I was here nor what I wanted, but I guess I just needed a distraction.