Can You Feel My Heart [Fransykes]

Chapter 26

A/N: I almost cried writing this chapter, oh well...

__

As my mom stopped the car in front of our schools yard I hesitantly looked at the huge white building I liked to call Hell, that I'll have to attend for the next six months as the second semester just started today. 

''Honey you don't have to go today if you don't want to.'' My mom started. She sensed something's been up. ''You've been acting weird the whole weekend, if you're not feeling well...''

''I'm fine.'' I cut her off. ''I just don't like school - which is normal 'cause nobody likes school.'' I opened the door and got out before I lost my sudden confidence. ''Plus, Vegan and Max are waiting for me.''

''Okay, but if anything's up just tell me please. I love you.'' She lightly smiled at me.

''Love you too mom.'' I said closing the door and heading towards the school door. 

I knew that as soon as I opened them I'll see Vegan and Max. I texted them like ten times each to wait for me in the main hallway and they both repeatedly said they will, but still I was extremely anxious about returning to school. 

I haven't spoken to Josh in more than three days and I felt dead inside. I didn't know if it was because he was avoiding me right back and I missed him so much my heart physically ached or if it was because he just proved to me that Chris and Dan were right. 

All this time I thought that Chris and Dan were the typical bullies trying to fill my head with all sorts of shit that would make me feel bad about myself and my relationship with Josh so much that I'd want to end it. However, now I knew that they were probably right. Josh is going to leave me, it's just a matter of time. He did not care about me as much as I thought he did and it was highly possible he wasn't even the person I thought he was. He was with me because he felt sorry for me and now it was slowly starting to get on his nerves. That had to be the reason why he chose to distance himself from me instead of telling me what was up. 

If it wasn't true then this was what the voice in my head was telling me and right now I was too emotionally drained to fight it. I could feel my mind slip into the unstable, weak and pitiful zone, but I just let it. I let the darkness crumble upon me and I just let myself feel too much but yet nothing at all at the same time.

I pushed the door open and walked into the huge locker hallway trying to appear invisible as dozens of students fell into my view. 

I spotted Vegan and Max quickly though and i walked straight to them purposely standing between the couple. 

They didn't seem to mind as they both threw one of their hands around my shoulders like all three of us belonged in this relationship and smiled. 

I felt comfort and a sense of safety surround me like a shield as their hands laid on me. 

I was always quite close with Vegan, but it seemed like our friendship deepened over the past two weeks while Max and I clicked in a matter of days. Since Josh and I weren't really a thing lately, those two were the only spark of happiness I had and I was extremely thankful for that. 

As Vegan looked at me his face immediately fell. ''God Oli, you look like shit.'' He exclaimed as always not even bothering to sugarcoat it.

''Well, that's what you get when you barely catch any sleep.'' I chuckled even though I know they could both see right through my 'I'm fine' poker face.