Battle Scars

eleven

I stand, facing the mirror in the small bathroom that my room includes.

I look down at my body in the mirror and frown.

I pinch the fat on my stomach, then on my arm, then thigh.

Disgusting.

I hate myself. I hate the way I look.

I lift up my shirt and see the horror in front of me.

"Damn, Amber. What made you get so chunky all of a sudden?" Veronica's voice infects my brain.

A tear begins to form in my right eye. I quickly wipe it away with my sleeve as I hear footsteps nearing the bathroom door.

All of a sudden, the door jolts open.. I swiftly stop what I'm doing and turn my head to the direction of the door. There stands Robin, giving me a look.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" I answer quickly, but she already knows.

She looks me up and down, still giving me the same look. "Stop that." She begins to walk away, then turns back and speaks."It's not healthy. And you're not fat."

I suddenly feel embarrassed, and decide to change the subject.

"Why doesn't the lock on the bathroom door work? Did someone break it?"

Robin sits down at the desk chair and opens up her journal.

"None of the locks work, they just put them there to make us think we have privacy. It's quite deceiving." She says.

"That's stupid."

"Not to the staff. I guess they think we're gonna lock ourselves in and try to hang ourselves with a shower curtain or something." Robin says as she starts writing in her journal.

I look back inside the bathroom. The mirror doesn't even look real.

I look back at Robin. "Well, knock next time." I say.

She looks at me. "Why? So you can take more time to stare in the mirror and judge yourself?"

I look down at my feet. She's right, it's not healthy.

I circle around the room, then lay down on the small bed.

"I'm not going to ask you about what happened out there."

I raise my head and look at her. "Why?" I ask.

"Because I already know. What I said yesterday, about Ethan. I was right."

I begin to recall what she said to me. How I 'have a crush on Ethan Quinn.'

"I don't have feelings for him." I say.

Robin looked at me like I'm stupid. "Really?"

"Robin, I just-"

"You just met him. I know." She cuts me off, then looks back down at her journal and continues to write.

"You're a broken person, Amber. For whatever reason. I don't know why, or how. Maybe something traumatic happened to you when you were younger, or maybe you were just born like this."

She stops drawing, but still keeps her crooked eyes on her journal.

"I don't know your story. You are probably the only one who does.. But broken people like you, they fall in love way too easily."

"You don't know me." I say, half joking.

"But do you even know you?"

I look to the ground.