Battle Scars

thirty five

I barely sleep that night. At all, really. Unless you would consider two hours of waking up multiple times as sleeping.

It felt familiarly lonely all night without Robin. It's the same loneliness I felt when she was in solitary. It's the worst feeling, and all I want to do is dive back into another one of Ethan's hugs.

Hell, Robin! Why would you do something so stupid!

I punch my bed and throw my pillow against the wall. I just want to go back to sleep and NOT have it affect my length of stay here.

Frustrated, I turn the shower on the hottest setting before letting it fall on my skin. The mildly hot water laminates my body.

I wonder if they keep the fire's maximum heat on moderate on purpose, because maybe some people have tried to burn themselves alive.

The water drips down my face; flooding my ears and mouth as I face upwards.

Stinging thoughts start to travel through my mind once again.  Drowsiness can only numb thought-processes for so long, after all. But it's so hard to stay positive over a missing friend.

What if Robin is lost? What if she got kidnapped? Or even worse..an animal found her and ate her alive?

I hope to whoever the hell controls our fate that she is okay, and that she will remain okay.

.........

I catch up to Blaine as he lines up for breakfast.

"Hey." He says with an awkward smile. "You look tired. Did you just wake up."

"Sorta, yeah. Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Uh, yeah? What's up?"

I lead him to the back of the line, facing away from everybody else. Though I sneak a peek at Ethan as we pass him. He gives me a friendly nod. I smile and return the favor.

It's nice not to feel uncomfortable pressure around Ethan anymore. This feels more natural. That hostility was eating me alive.

"So..do you remember yesterday when I told you there was a missing patient?" I say to Blaine.

"Yeah, how did you find that out, by the way? I've been wondering that."

"I overheard the staff talking about it. An office door was cracked." I shake my head. "Anyways, I know who it is, and it terrifies me."

"Who? Who is it?"

"Robin, my roommate." My voice cracks. "The worst part is, I didn't even realize she was gone until I saw her empty bed."

Blaine reacts in shock. "She ran away?But....where did she think she was going?"

"Dude, I have no idea. She's schizophrenic. It's scary to think about what could happen to her."

Blaine shakes his head and gives me a sympathetic look while taking my hands. "I hope they find her soon. They most-likely will, either way. I'm sorry, Amber. But don't feel bad about your delayed realization."

"Thanks, Blaine."

To my discomfort, he leans in for a kiss. Shit.

"Blaine, hey." I cut him off while slightly leaned back. He opens his eyes.

I shake my head no. "I..I'm sorry dude. I should have told you sooner." I breathe in deeply as I suddenly feel a wave of guilt. "I like Ethan. I like him a lot."

Blaine steps back and nods once. "That makes sense."

God damn it, now he seems sad.

"I really enjoy our friendship, though. That's one thing I'll never want to lose."