Battle Scars

twenty five

I stride out the doors leading to the small courtyard, still feeling the slightest bit of nausea. I'll keep these big meals up someday.

The skies seem to have darkened, and puffy white clouds scatter above. I smile as a brief gust of wind passes by me, causing my hair to fall in my face.

I look around the basketball court, the benches, the grass..

No Ethan.

He's probably still on his way here.

I wait for a minute until everyone else makes it out here. I narrow my eyes and look back through the glass doors. Still no Ethan.

I frown in confusion. He's never the last one to arrive. Is he getting his meds changed? Is he in a Seltz meeting?

"Hey, Amber." I hear a quiet voice from the benches. I look over and see Blaine shyly waving at me.

I force a weak smile and wave back. "Hey." Blaine is nice, but he's more awkward then anyone I've ever met.

"Wanna play cards?" He asks. "..Or something? You seem as bored as me."

If anyone hasn't gotten the message yet, mister shy boy also has a little crush on me.

"Yeah, sure." I say. Blaine smiles as I accept his offer. "I'm gonna go find Ethan first, though. Have you seen him?"

"Over there." He points to the hidden piece of wall that Ethan and I were recently on the other side of.

Ahhh, he'a at his secret spot. I smile to myself as I recall what took place at that area. His soft lips taking over mine, his lip ring resting on my teeth, his nose grazing mine..

I walk towards the corner with my hands resting in my pockets, replaying that prodigious moment over and over in my head.

I hide around the corner and hold my ear close to the wall. I hear shuffling of footsteps and sharp breathing. He's definitely back here.

I spin myself around and face the other side. But what I see is more than just deceiving. The most unexpected scene stands in front of my eyes..

My heart suddenly drops to the pit of my stomach, and a lump forms in the back of my throat. I frown.

"Ethan..?" A small, shaky voice releases from my mouth.

A pair of those familiar olive eyes appear above Emily's head. A shocked look suddenly crosses his face, his lips releasing from hers, and his body backing up from his stance.

"Amber..holy shit, no, let me explain.."

Emily tells him to shut up and kiss her again. Ethan pushes away and swiftly jogs toward me.

"Amber, this isn't what it looks like. I'm so sorry you-"

But it's too late. My trust for him is already long gone.

"No.." I say. "No, Ethan, you're not sorry." I choke on my words. "I trusted you."

I spin back around and dart in the direction of the court, tears threatening to fall down my red face as I keep my head lowered.

My brain begins to cluster in thoughts. Thoughts that I'd rather not have. Thoughts I cannot control. The scene I just witnessed keeps replaying over and over in my head. I feel the tears fall after a sob escapes my throat.

The kids at school were right.

Ethan Quinn is just a joke.

I suddenly release a cough. I focus on what's in front of me and realize I ran into something. Someone.

"Girl, watch it, will ya?" Tino's voice comes into the picture.

"S..sorry." I wipe my eyes and walk away, continuing to the direction of the door, ignoring Blaine as he fails to wave me over.

I need to get out of here. I need to be alone-

"Amber?"

I jolt my head in the direction of the voice. Michelle waves at me with a smile.

"Oh, hey. I'm just getting a drink..of water." I stutter, trying not to sob in public. My left hand shakes in my pocket, and droplets of sweat drip down my back.

Michelle gives me a thumbs up, but with a look of discouragement.  I instantly shove open the door, heading in the direction of the water fountain.

I feel my breathing start to go heavy as I can finally have my own space. Away from people. Alone.

I hit the wall in front of me with my palm. God damn it. God damn it! Looking down, I see my reflection in the fountain. I sniffle and hit the fountain as well.

I push the button, then open my mouth to take a small sip. I then realize I feel sick to my stomach.

I crouch down underneath the fountain, clutching my upset stomach.

I freaken trusted him..stupid, Amber. Stupid!

I let out quiet sobs underneath the fountain for the rest of rec.