Battle Scars

eighteen

"So, Amber, are you finally starting to like this place?"

I look up at Doctor Seltz with wide eyes.

He thinks I like this place?

"Um, it's alright, I guess." I say shyly.

My neck feels a hell of a lot better than before, but still sore from Robin's sucker punch. I stayed in that room for about 24 hours until they decided I could be released.

A few hours ago, after I got out of the infirmary, I was warned that I'd have a Seltz meeting later on.

That's what they call one-on-one therapy here. Seltz meetings.

So far, it's been nothing but aimless talking and anxiety.

"Oh, come on." He says with a goofy smile. "Don't pretend like you don't enjoy it here. Every day your smile seems to grow bigger and bigger."

I let out an awkward chuckle before he continues.

"I see you're recovering well, too. Those wounds seem to be healing up nicely."

I look down at my bare arm. The wounds that were once red and puffy are now white and fading. I realize Doctor Seltz is right.

I give him a small smile and nod in agreement.

He looks down at his clipboard and writes something down.

I've discovered that every staff member in here is required to have a clipboard, or something. Because every worker here always seems to want to take notes whenever anything happens.

And I mean anything.

I could be getting out of my room to use the bathroom during room time, and Molly, or Justin, or whoever's working will look at me and start vigorously writing on a clipboard.

"How do you feel about getting discharged in three days?"

I instantly face him, and a smile starts to grow on my face. I start feeling the excitement in my brain, and the acceleration of my heartbeat.

Home. In 62 hours. I almost feels unreal.

I think about sleeping in my own bed, showering in my own shower, looking in my own mirror-

My smile freezes as I think about Ethan.

A cold shiver falls down my spine as I think about not being able to see him every day.

Will life even be better back home?

I'll have to face going back to school again.

I'll have to face everyone again.

My mind suddenly starts to jog backwards. Let's face it, I can't be in a place like this forever. This isn't reality.

I think about Robin, then suddenly feel as if I'm going to vomit.

I nod at Doctor Seltz, and give him a crooked smile. "Yeah..three days..that'd be awesome."

When the session ends, I shake Seltz's hand, then exit his office.

"What a pleasant surprise." I look up as I hear the familiar voice. To my right, I see Ethan sitting at the waiting chair in front of someone else's office. "Are you alright? Heard you just barely got out of the infirmary."

My face turns hot and I let out a fake chuckle. "Yeah, just fell out of bed.."

He slants his lips, and before silence could evade us he says, "It was Robin...wasn't it?"

I feel my whole body crumble in guilt. "They confined her again, Ethan."

"That's not your fault."

"Well it sure as hell feels like it."

"She has schizophrenia, Amber. Not even she has control over herself."

Another silence waves through.  This time, I decide to break it, "I don't even know why I care so much."

"Because Robin is your friend." Ethan says. "Friends care for one another." His voice cracks.

I can't help but smile. "You're adorable."

"Shut up." He laughs. "Puberty is a bitch. I'm glad you're okay, though. From the looks of it, Robin can't punch very hard."

I laugh along, and feel grateful that the subject has been changed. "You have a meeting too?" I ask.

"Something like that." He says with a sad smirk.

I look at the name on the door in front of him.

Mrs. Johnston.

"It's just going to be another 'sorry Ethan you don't seem stable enough to leave the premises yet' meetings. I have these every other week." He says.

He adjusts his glasses and moves his piercing with his tongue as we hear footsteps in this distance.

"How'd your meeting go?" He whispers as the footsteps fade.

"Three days." I say with a small chuckle. "Three days until I'm out of here."

He gives me a worried look, which soon changes into a smile.

"That's great, Amber. I'm really happy for you." He tries to sound excited, but I can hear the sadness beneath his voice.

He's going to miss me too.