Changing // Hemmings

5

Story time(:
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-Jolene-
It wasn't like I didn't want to talk to him. Him, as in Luke. Because I did. It would have been nice to have sat down and ate and talked with him, and laugh over something stupid. But it wasn't like that. He left before I could even say goodbye, without warning. So he didn't deserve that. I couldn't talk to him because he left, and he didn't even ever make an effort to talk to me, and I didn't want to become his friend again, nor did I ever. I didn't want to be close with him, and him disappear again; I wouldn't allow it. My decision was made, I guess I'd have to just ignore him back like he has to me for the past twelve months.
Two weeks had passed since that night and everything's gone downhill. Tommy would always tell me he was sick, or that they had an emergency football practice, which I though our school never did. He's been distant. And coincidentally, so has Carly. No, I'm not one of those naive girls who figures 'Oh, it can't be happening because things like this never happen in real life. He's just doing what he has to, and Carly is upset over the breakup.' And that's exactly what this is, real life, so I knew there were chances.
Yeah, I knew they were both acting odd. Whenever I'd see Noah at school, I'd give him a glare for cheating on her, but he just gave me a shy smile, almost as if he was apologizing. To me or to her, it didn't matter.
Luke hasn't made effort to speak to me again since that night, and it wasn't like I was expecting him to either. If it was for the best; I don't know. But for the past few days, I can't stop wondering what it would have been like if I didn't go have lunch with Carly and her friends on the first day. Maybe I'd be best friends with Luke or Ashton, maybe even Mackenzie. Maybe I wouldn't be popular and have all this pressure to be perfect all the time. Maybe I wouldn't be dating Tommy and would just go through high school single. But it didn't matter, because I did go hang out with them, I did go to that party, I wasn't friends with them anymore, I did have pressure, and I was dating Tommy.
It was now also a month into first trimester of my Junior year, and I was now sitting in the counselors office about classes. "So Jolene, you're here about your schedule?" she asked.
"Yes Mrs. Owens, I wanted to know if I could switch from my history to advanced history. I think choosing normal history was not a good choice, I would really like the challenge of the AP class. It would also help for my credits. I'm applying for Princeton." I told her. I chose to do normal history at the beginning of the year, thinking I might have less homework and it'd make it easier, but the class bugs me. I'm used to be in the honors classes I guess.
"Yeah sure. No problem Miss. Adams, would you like to be put in there today? I could write a note, all you'd have to do is get the signature from your current history teacher, then go to the advanced class and get your things. It'd be pretty easy."
"Yes please." I gave her a polite smile. She scribbled things on a fluorescent orange slip, and handed it to me. "Thank you so much." I said, opening her door. I heard her say a 'Welcome' before I shut her office door. I went to my locker, got all of my books and papers for the class I have now, and walked to it. After getting scolded at for switching out of the class by my teacher and handing him my books and current assignments, I made my way to hallway, then to my new class. I did a double check on the room number, not wanting to walk in during the middle of a class, only to find it was the wrong room. It was the right class.
I opened the door, and all the conversations that were happening stopped. "Hi, what can I help you with hun?" a woman walked up to me. I think her name was Mrs. McNole.
"Hi, uhm.. I switched into this class, I have my note from the counselor and my previous teacher." she took the note out of my hand. I looked around the room briefly, and saw a few people I recognized. My eyes landed on a girl. That girl was Carly. I shot her a questioning look, since she was already shooting me one back. She moved her things out of the seat next to her, and nodded pointing to it. I laughed and in the corner of my eye, I saw two more faces that I recognized. Luke and Mackenzie. Great.
Mackenzie gave me a warm smile, waving, while Luke just looked at me with wide eyes. I sent Mackenzie a big smile back, only giving Luke a small one. He gave an even smaller one back and looked back down to his book, continuing to study. I rolled my eyes got my things from the teacher, and went to my new seat next to Carly. "What are you doing in an Advanced Placement class?" I asked her, laughing while putting my bag next to me and getting my things organized.
"Mom decided to put me in it. Sorry I didn't tell you, it's just I'm not exactly happy about it." she laughed back, putting her history book in between us. I nodded my head, and looked around the class room again. I waved to a few kids who had smile at me, but my eyes, once again, landed on Luke. A Luke who was already looking at me when my eyes met his. They didn't have that sparkle like they used to. He almost looked mad. He chuckled to himself slightly, shook his head, and looked to his book again.
The class ended soon enough, and so did school. I didn't have a ride with Carly, apparently she was hanging out with this guy she met, and Tommy had a family thing. Again. James was a few hours away in some city here in Australia, looking at scenery for a new painting he was thinking about. Cheer leading was canceled due to so many girls being sick, most likely because of all the alcohol they had Friday night still being in their system. It amazed me how sick these girls on my team got when they get drunk. I'm actually surprised they haven't been kicked off yet too. I decided on walking home, and I put my headphones in. When You Can't Sleep At Night by Of Mice & Men came on, one of my new favorites. I silently sang along, looking down at my phone, texting Mandi and Ally about some guys they saw at the party.
I looked up and saw a Starbucks, so I walked in to get a coffee and cookie before heading back to my apartment. I ordered my things, and was waiting next to the counter when someone bumped into me. "Ash, come on!," the person laughed. "This isn't a play ground mate." they said. I didn't bother to turn around, but my head phone had fallen out, making me able to hear things around me more. I left it out, not really caring.
"Jolene?" the second person asked. I sort of recognized the voice, so now I turned, wondering who it was. Of course it was Luke, someone who I'd seen almost everywhere I go now, and Ashton. He walked up to me and pulled me into a huge hug.
"Hey Jo! How have you been stranger?" he asked.
I looked down at my shoes, feeling bad. Just like I never said bye to Luke, I hadn't to any of them. Occasionally we'd see each other and talk a small bit for maybe a minute at most, but nothing more. "I've uhm.. I've been good I guess. How about you?" I asked him. Luke still stood behind Ash, just looking at his phone. Not wanting to be rude, I spoke to him. "Or you?" I asked him. He looked up and gave me a look saying 'Me?' , and I nodded.
"I've been great! Me and Mack are coming up on two years, it;s going amazingly well." Ashton told me. I looked at Luke, and he shrugged. "I guess I've been good. How are you and Tommy?" he asked.
I shrugged in response, and answered his question. "Alright. He's been weird lately. Guess it's just because we've been dating about a year maybe." I finished shrugging again. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked trying to change the subject.
"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that Jo." Ash said using my old nickname and once again, I felt bad. "We're just here getting some coffee before going to band practice."
"Oh yeah, the band. How's that going? Didn't you guys get a few gigs over the summer?"
"Yeah," Luke answered. "How'd you know?"
"A few friends went to some of them. They said you were pretty good." I told them.
"Oh boy, the pops think we're good Ash." Luke joked, nudging Ashton's shoulder.
"They aren't that bad guys!" I said laughing. I looked back up at the two of them, and noticed Luke's dimple showing up on his face, a result of his smiling. "Awe, you still have your dimple." I laughed again. He laughed along with me, Ash doing the same. My name was called from the server of the shop, and he set my small pastry bag next to it. "Well, coffee's ready. I guess I should get going. Bye guys."
Ashton pulled me in for another hug while the blonde haired boy stood behind him awkwardly. "Bye Jo!" Ash yelled as I was about to leave the store. "Bye Ash! Bye Luke!" I said back. I noticed him smile again, before I walked out.
The night passed by quickly. I didn't have any homework, no chores, nothing. I stayed up, writing in my journal, writing in my laptop on my small story I've started, and I even tried doing some covers of songs. I never upload any, I'm not any good.
The rest of my night consisted of me eating Hawaiian pizza and drinking lemonade, all while watching Teen Wolf. In all honesty, I'm not normally a TV show kind of person, but I liked this and Gossip Girl. That went by quick too, and and after looking at my phone, I saw it was about 1 in the morning. I got up and put my dishes away, brushed my teeth, changed into spandex and a sweater, and got under my covers.
I thought about a lot of things. I thought about this whole Tommy and Carly thing, second guessing myself. I didn't want to think about it anymore so I tried to change my mind, and it changed without hesitation. They changed to a tall, blonde boy, with blue eyes and dimples, who I hadn't said more than five words to until today. I sat there in bed, wondering if there was a chance of us being friends again; even though it was unlikely, before finally falling asleep.
-Luke-
"Dude, you could have said more to her!" Ashton said nudging my shoulder after we got done doing practice. We told the boys about what happened, because apparently me and Jolene talking was some kind of new and incredibly important info.
"Look, I guess I was just surprised she even asked how I was, alright." I snapped at him. This conversation had gone on the whole two hours of practice, and I was becoming more and more aggravated with it. A look of shock and guilt came upon all their faces. "I'm sorry guys.. It's just.. I haven't talked to her for a whole year, and today is probably the only time I'm going to talk to her for a while. So sorry if I don't exactly want to be yelled at over something so stupid." I huffed, sitting down onto the mini stage we had in Michael's garage.
"You said you liked her a lot, right?" Calum asked, me nodding my head in response."Well then it's not stupid. I get where you're coming from, you think that there isn't a point because if she wanted to, she would've talked to you sooner, yeah?" I nodded again, just wanting this conversation to finally come to an end. "Luke, I think if you really like her as much as you do, you should at least make an effort to try to talk to the girl." he patted me back, and I stood up.
"Alright." I said simply. "Alright, whatever. But can we go get Chinese food? It's almost eight and I'm starving." I put my guitar in it's case, and started to help the boys clean the garage. We ended up just making even more of a mess after we started throwing random things at each other. After the four of us all got our things packed up, we walked out, me and Ash taking my car, Calum and Michael taking Cal's.
"So are you going to try to talk to her more?" Ashton asked once we'd buckled up. I shrugged. "I guess. I dunno." I answered pulling out of the drive way.
"You guess? You don't know? Luke.. C'mon dude.. " he trailed off.
"Okay. Fine. I'll start tomorrow, okay? But she's not going to want to talk to me back."
"Yes she will Luke." he said. "Trust me."
I left the topic alone for the rest of the night, and so did the boys. We all are our food in silence, Ashton texting Mackenzie, Calum and Mikey talking about some girls that gave them their numbers at the gig we had last weekend, and me thinking about this whole situation. I really do want to talk to her, but I guess I was just scared that she's either going to reject me or blow me off. My over thinking of everything soon began to give me a headache, and I got up and walked to the trashcan, throwing away my empty drink cup and tray. "Hey guys, I think I'm gonna head home." I said picking up my keys. "Ash, you need a ride to your house?" He nodded no, and I grabbed my keys, saying a goodbye to them as I left.
The drive back to my house was uneventful, me doing the normal singing along to Green Day, Nirvana, and Blink 182 and looking at the scenery. I arrived home soon, parking in the garage that they had next to my apartment housing, and started to walk to the main house. When I got inside, I took the elevators up and finally was in front of my door. I grabbed my keys from my pocket and opened the door, the smell of pancakes filling the living room. I walked in to the kitchen to find eggs, turkey bacon, and waffles in the oven, the setting on low so they'd stay warm but not burn. Once I'd pulled the plate out and put it on the counter, I saw a note had been left for me.
Luke,
I had to leave early for more paperwork at the office. Apparently we have a new conference coming up and a few of my co-workers and I had to come in late tonight for an emergency meeting and to fill out papers. I'll be home later tonight. Wanted to make your favorite tonight. Haven't done it in a while.
I'll see you when I'm home. Love you
~Mom xx
I set the note down, grabbed the plate and put butter and syrup on the pancakes, and went into my room. Even though I ate about half an hour ago, I was still incredibly hungry. I sat down on my bed, ate and did a small amount of homework I'd gotten, then put my plate away and got ready for bed. The sun was just now setting, even though it was a little after 9 at night, but it was still captivating. An idea came to mind, and since I couldn't sleep, I went out and sat on the fire escape.
I sat out there watching the sun go down, then laid back an watched the stars. I looked at my phone and saw that it was 1 in the morning. Just as I got up, I changed my view over to Jolene's room, and saw her putting on a sweatshirt. She stood there for a second, looking around the room frowning, before finally going over to her covers. She never turned the light off, so from here I could see she was tossing and turning, before finally turning to face my direction. Her eyes must've been closed, because she didn't seem to react to the face that I was watching her, but I saw what looked like her face break into a smile.
I walked back into my own room, and got under mt sheets, and thought about a few things. I thought about the band, and upcoming math test, and then I thought of Jolene again for what seems like the millionth time tonight. Her long, warm chocolate and bright, glowing green eyes. Her freckles on her nose and cheeks. And then I though of her lips. Those pale, pink, full lips. I felt a smile break out onto my own face, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep, into an unconscious bliss.
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So whoo, this chap kind of was absolutely terrible.
I'm starting to get sick again :(
When You Can't Sleep At Night by Of Mice & Men, and If You Wait by London Grammar are becoming a few of my new favorite songs...
So yeah.
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Thanks!(:
~Caliey xx