ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰɪɴᴇ // 𝐦𝐠𝐜 - 𝐚𝐟𝐢

CIGARETTE 6

CIGARETTE 6

Sweaty bodies grinding against one another to the sound of the loud electronic music while the strong scent of alcohol fills the air.

It's a party. Nothing but having fun and getting drunk or maybe laid too are expected in the kind of scenarios.

Not for me. A party is just an excuse to drown myself. When you don't feel anything at all, nothing better than a bottle of white drink transparent as water.

The alcohol drowns my thoughts and makes me feel numb. I was numb already before I drank half of the bottle in my hand. Now I'm even more numb, but a good numb. The type of numb that makes you float around with a light mind and blurry vision.

I was supposed to be with Ashton.

Was, past tense. He left me as soon as we arrived at the frat house. We were in the kitchen, choosing something to drink. He was with this big smile on his face. Even told me he was glad I had chosen to come. But then Calum appeared out of nowhere and dragged my boyfriend away from me.

I was caught alone with a lot of bottles in front of me. I grabbed one that it hadn't been opened yet and made my way to the back porch.

And here I am. Probably more drunk than I should, sat alone on the steps of the back porch of this unknown house.

I can't feel any emotion at all. I'm not angry Ashton had left me, I'm not sad because I'm alone and I'm not happy because I'm drunk.

I'm emotionless.

If that's good or bad, you decide. I don't even bother. I stopped long ago.

“Madi?” I hear a familiar voice behind me. They sound surprised for seeing me here. I'm surprised for being here myself.

I look up and see Michael standing beside me. “Oh, hello Michael.” I can't​ help but send him a smile as he sits beside me on the step.

“I never thought I would find you here.” He tells me, a soft smile on his lips.

“Surprised?”

“Quite surprised, yeah.”

“Me too.” I take a drag from my almost forgotten cigarette. “This isn't my favorite scenario for a Saturday night but here I am.”

“It's not mine either, but my friend dragged me here.”

“Now I'm the one surprised.” We both laugh, like old friends and soon the silence sinks in. The loud music from inside faint.

The cigarette butt is already on the floor and I take a small sip from the bottle, offering to him. He takes a small sip and rests the bottle between us.

“What does alcohol make you feel? Numb or alive?” I ask out of the blue. The question popped up in my mind and I felt the urge to ask.

“It depends.” He replies. “I'm not much of a drinker. What about you?”

“Numb, most of the times.” I answer. “I drink to forget, to feel even more numb than I feel.”