ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰɪɴᴇ // 𝐦𝐠𝐜 - 𝐚𝐟𝐢

CIGARETTE 14

CIGARETTE 14

Do we need a reason to be sad? Do we need a reason to be happy? I ran out of reasons to be both.

I'm just numb now. Although, the sorrow doesn't seem to leave my spirit. You know you're stepping over the edge when it's becoming difficult for you to show a fake smile.

something that it was so natural for me to do, know it's so hard.

It's the last day of spring break and I'm already on my way to Bronx. Today is the day I'll solve this problem I created the day I left Ashton crying in our apartment.

I spent the whole week ignoring his and Elle's texts and calls. I made this week as a stop in time. Like nothing else existed but me and my family. As if the time stopped and nothing else mattered.

It didn't help that much. The sorrow and numbness were still there. I cooked with my mom, watched baseball with my dad, played Pokémon with my brother and even hung out with Michael a couple of times. It felt almost like high school. when things weren't that great, but I tried my best to make things better.

It didn't work out that much back then, because I ended up in a hospital bed.

The sun is still up in the sky and I'm already reaching my destination. I don't feel nervous or anxious, I don't feel anything at all.

But deep down there, I can feel the happiness growing inside just with the thought of Ashton and being beside him. This week has been a nightmare because he was always wandering around my mind. I tried to get away from him and the pain combined with happiness that he provides me, but it's just too hard.

I love him away too much and I have no idea how this happened.

In front of me is the door for my apartment. I debate if I should open it or not. Am I ready to face him? To tell him I forgive him and want things go back how they used to be.

The key slowly is swallowed by the lock and I take a deep breath. Twisting it to the right, the unlocking clicks echo through the empty hallway and in a matter of seconds, the door is unlocked and opened.

Slowly, like I'm waiting for death to catch me before I go in, I push the door open. The first thing I see is Ashton sat down on the couch, who jumps and runs to my encounter.

"Madi!" He squeals and after that, I can't see anything. He engulfs me in a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry." He cries, his face buried in the crook of my neck. "I'm sorry for not being beside you as much as I should be, I'm sorry for leaving you at night and not coming back until the day after, for not noticing you were not happy and that you were getting worse."

As I listen to his cries, I can't help but let tears run down my face. We cry together, in one another's embrace. His warmth feels good, like home. His scent brings waves of nostalgia when we first met, and his touch gives me hope.

I'm too deep into his spell and I do know that.

He just happened to be there in the right place, at the right time. Once second later would be fatal to our story. Once second later, there wouldn't be Ash and Madi. So, if once second made such a difference, maybe we are really meant to be. Maybe we are where we should be. Side by side, breathing each other's breath, our bodies pressed against one another.

"It's ok." I whisper, my voice cracking and my throat hoarse. "It's ok Ash." My words don't seem to calm him down. Softly, I put my hands on his shoulders and push him away gently, so he can look at me. Both my hands rest on his face as my thumbs wipe the tears still sliding down his cheeks. "Ash, Look at me please." I can't help, but let tears continue to run down. "It's ok, I just want you by my side. I just want to be with you. For me, that is all what matters."

He doesn't say anything. He just places his big hands on my checks and slams is lips against mine. It felt like forever since we last have shared a kiss. I miss the taste of his lips. Bittersweet.

Right ow, there is nothing but us in the world. He is the king and I'm his queen. We are on top of the world and we are unstoppable.

In this moment, it's just him and I.