ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰɪɴᴇ // 𝐦𝐠𝐜 - 𝐚𝐟𝐢

CIGARETTE 22

CIGARETTE 22

Summer. It felt like forever until it finally came. This winter and spring have been the longest of my life. I missed summer. I missed the warm days, the cold drinks in the backyard, the nights spend on the roof and staying up late to watch the sunrise.

The semester ended and I came back to Brooklyn, leaving Michael’s studio behind. My mom looked pretty surprised when I showed up at her house with a carton box in hands and Michael behind me carrying the rest of my stuff. He offered me a ride, and of course, I couldn’t say no.

My mom met Michael that day and got to know I will never go back to living in the Bronx and the reason behind that. This time, I didn’t cry. It didn’t hurt saying what happened out loud.

I’m not going to say that my mom was shocked when I told her Ashton and I were not dating anymore and that the relationship had ended a month ago. I know she knew something was not right and that it wouldn’t last much longer when I paid her a visit on spring break.

Michael went back to Manhattan that day, but promised to visit me when he came to spend some days with his parents.

I won’t say that I’m fully happy now. I’m better. I haven’t cut myself since the episode back in Michael’s studio when he found me with my arm full of blood. I’m better. I’m trying my best.

It has been three weeks since I’m back in Brooklyn and these weeks has been good for me. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my brother and start hanging out with Elle more too, like old times. She’s at his parents house during summer break and their house is one one block away from mine.  

“Madi! Madi! Madi!” I hear my brother coming from upstairs and he runs to me, as I’m sat on the couch. “Do you wanna play Mario Kart with me? Pretty please?”

I smile at him and wrap my arms around him. “I’m going to hang out with Elle, but how about we watch a movie together after dinner and tomorrow I promise to play with you. How about that?”

“Can you invite Michael?” He asks, his eyes big.

Michael and Bruce clicked the first the purple haired came to my house. Bruce loves him. And he loves him even more because they both share a big passion for Pokémon and the older boy teaches him tips.  

“Sure thing, lil bean.” He hugs me, kisses my cheek and runs back upstairs. I watch him go with a found smile and grab my bag. “Mom, I’m going to hang out with Elle. I’ll be home by seven.”

After receiving a response from my mother, I leave the house and walk down the street in Elle’s house direction.

When I arrive they’re already outside and we decide to go to this local cafe we used to go when we were in high school.

We talk about everything and anything in our way there. It feels good being with Elle. This past year, when we were together, it wasn’t the same.

I would always zone out and our conversations wouldn’t make any sense because I couldn't hold them for too long. And the worse was that they knew I was not ok, and I ignore it. I shut them down saying I was fine and that everything was alright when it clearly was not.

But now, none of that happens, and it makes me happy.

Sitting in the coffee terrace, Elle and I talk while drinking our iced coffee.