ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰɪɴᴇ // 𝐦𝐠𝐜 - 𝐚𝐟𝐢

CIGARETTE 9

CIGARETTE 9

Warm, cozy, it feels like home. The bittersweet sent from the food is comforting and for a fraction of second, everything seems perfect.

The wide smile makes my cheeks hurt slightly, but the pain is forgotten between all the emotions dancing inside me.

I can't stop but stare at the sight in front of me. It's beautiful. From his bright hazel eyes, to his wide smile playing on his lips along with dimples and white teeth on display.

He talks about something, but I can't play much attention, he's distracting me.

"... And that was how Calum ended up naked on the roof of his frat house." Ashton finishes his story that I didn't pay attention to. Listening only the end, I chuckle, Ashton thinking I listened to him.

He eyes me with a smile and his gaze falls on his plate as he keeps eating his chop suey.

My eyes continue on him. I can't lose him. I might be in a bad place right now, but he turns it a little better even though he's never here.

I'm afraid he'll leave. I couldn't bear with it. I would die although I feel dead already.

"I love you." I blurt out. I only acknowledge my words when Ashton looks up from his food and our eyes meet.

"I love you too."

♪♪♪

Lips are warm against my skin; the touch is rough but it feels like rose petals. I can feel myself melting. His scent is strong and invades my senses.

"I want you so bad." He whispers in my ear, leaving a light kiss below it right after.

"But I'm already yours." I whisper back, feeling his hands under my sweater. I missed the touch, his hands on my bare skin. I've missed when he touched me like this.

His body rests in between my legs, my arms are wrapped around his neck as his hands roam through my body.

The lights are out, it's dark outside. The moon hides behind the heavy clouds. I can't see him, only feel.

Oh, and he feels so good. Better than it should.

I can't help but love every kiss, every touch, every feeling he gives me.

I can't help but love him.

♪♪♪

Ashton didn't see them. He didn't even feel them under his hands. I don't know if I feel relieved or disappointed.

I don't know what would have happened if he did notice them on my thighs. I also don't know if I want to.

Would it be better or worse? Would he help me or leave me?

Even with him by my side, his arms protectively around my waist as his breath hits the back of my neck softly, this questions and doubts confront me at night.

Is this real or a mere dream?

♪♪♪

Another Monday, another week. Everyday the same routine repeats itself. It's boring.