nonstop (merthur AU)

twenty

mordred was born just a month before merlin was and their mothers thought that was incredible

they were what you would call forces friends, only knowing each other because of their parents insane idea that they could be best friends.

merlin and mordred both knew that they'd have to learn to like each other sooner or later

'but how can we make ourselves like each other?' a twelve year old merlin had asked

'we learn to listen' mordred shrugged

so listen they did

they took it in turns, one day each.

they would have that entire day to complain or rant about whatever atrocities they were going through at the time and then they would swap

the system continued for years and merlin finally felt like he had a friend, he could let whatever words fall out of his mouth and mordred would nod along as if he knew exactly what he was talking about

they had seen each other at their best and their worst.

when mordred would come home blackout drunk, merlin would look after him for the next couple of days

when merlin's mums addiction started, mordred was the one who made sure he had somewhere to go

despite those problems, merlin was at his happiest with someone he could finally call his best friend.

but it was gone too quickly

it was the middle of the night when mordred proposed his idea to merlin. he'd climbed through the window in their basement and ran upstairs without waking up merlins mother

'what?' merlin asked, completely shocked

'you heard me' mordred smiled

'i can't... we can't just run away' merlin said

mordreds smile vanished

'you hate it here!' he protested, the burning feeling of betrayal bubbling up inside of him

merlin shook his head at the boy, fear evident in his eyes. he stood up off his bead and started making his way towards him

'but my mum-'

'she doesn't love you and you know that! and she sure as hell isn't going to love you if she finds out about your little problem!'

merlin stopped suddenly, mordred had crossed a line

the only movement in the room was the heavy rise and fall of mordred's heaving chest

'we said we weren't ever going to talk about that ever again' merlin breathed

'why? because you're so terrified of being different that you can't admit that you're not?' mordred pressed, stepping closer to merlin

'stop' merlin clenched and unclench his fists, trying to control the feeling running through his veins

'why? because you can feel your hands start to tingle again?'

'mordred, please i don't want to hurt you' merlin said

'because you're starting to twitch like you always do when this happens?' mordred said louder, maniacal laughter starting to bubble up from inside of him

merlin was completely and utterly helpless as he looked around panicking

'mordred!' merlin cried

but the boy didn't listen, he just stepped closer and whispered
'because you're about to turn into the monster you truly are again?'

that was it, he had pushed merlin off the edge

his eyes flashed golden and everything within a ten meter radius seemed to explode. mordred was thrown backwards into the walls he knew so well. merlin had done this twice before, but it was the one thing he would never talk about so mordred didn't know what to do to end it.

merlins arms were outstretched and tears were running freely from his eyes, the glass windows had shattered behind him and fragments of glass were now strewn around the room.

'fuck, merlin you can stop now!' mordred yelled as the glass started to somehow inch towards him

merlin looked up at him from across the room 'don't you see, i can't control this!'

that's when the fire started

neither of the boys could remember what actually caught on fire, as found out during the police questioning. neither of the boys could actually remember anything else that happened that night after the fire

that was the last mordred ever saw of merlin