"All my life, I secretly always felt something towards girls , I never really liked guys and always found myself awkward around them. But whenever im beside a girl I find attractive I start blushing and feeling butterflies I have admired many girls but was in denial of it and tried to admire guys. I did everything to make myself like guys I just realised I never did. I have been around girls way often than guys and feel more comfortable. When guys tend to tell me I'm beautiful , I look at it in a friendly way or I get uncomfortable. I just don't think I'm into guys at all. I think all these years of my life , I've just been a confused lesbian. I like girls and I love seeing them together i wish I could be more open about my sexuality. I feel horrible, because I told my friends I was bi and my parents. Im not bi. Im not into guys at all and it took me a while to realise it when my teacher was talking about sexuality. At times, I wanted to experiment. I am planning to run away when I get older so I can come clean to others about my sexuality. At times , I'm scared to come out because since I'm a mixed girl I feel like other black people will look down upon me for being a lesbian. I never thought I would be a lesbian but I keep it to myself I dont trust anyone except my parents , my friends have all spread rumours about me. I get sniggers behind my back I live in a small island in Europe and it feels horrible I feel so foreign and odded out the only thing that keeps me happy is my dad. I look up to him. I pretend not to care but it hurts at the end of the day they dont know anything you've been through."
