My Fairytale Ending

Chapter Twenty

"From the tests these past few days and the data I have collected, I can conclude that you have PTSD and an extreme case of depression," Porlyusica told Mira, Elfman, Master, and I.

We all sat in the hall infirmary, waiting for my diagnosis for acting so strangely.

"With Hibiki having raped you," I saw Mira and Elfman cringe when she said rape, "and abused you, verbally and physically, it's understandable. Certain phrases from then, and scenes related to both Cana's death and Bacchus' behavior, trigger your thoughts and it's as if you are seeing, no reliving, those memories. And now, with witnessing such a gruesome event the other night, it only adds more to trigger your thoughts. Your depression is most likely from all the years of being holed up, the loss of a loved one, and the feeling of abandonment. It also is common for patients experiencing depression to feel as if they can't talk about their problems, they don't think it's possible for anyone to relate or are scared of how people will react. For you, Lisanna, you felt the pressure of Hibiki still being on the loose and that he could strike at any moment if you told what actually happened behind the door." She took in a breath, looking me in the eyes.

"I never realized it was that bad," Elfman mumbled.

"I still can't believe so much happened and I didn't know about it, usually I catch onto everything," Mira said.

"Thank you, Porlyusica, for diagnosing Lisanna. Now, is there anything we can do to cure all of this?" Master's eyebrows furrowed.

"Depression and PTSD isn't exactly curably, but therapy is a good option. I can leave a few names for nearby therapists, they will find the treatment best suitable for Lisanna. Are you ok with me recommending therapy?" She directed the last question to me.

"Whatever it takes to get these thoughts out of my head," I nodded.

"Alright. Again, it won't completely get rid of the thoughts, but by having special exercises to work your mind, it should limit them tremendously."

"Thank you so much," we all thanked her as she and Master left the infirmary room.

"Lisanna, I'm so sorry about before," Elfman started, referring back to the day we both snapped on each other. "If I had known.."

"Don't worry about it, it's in the past," I shook my hands at him.

Word about my past, with Hibiki, with Cana, the Bacchus incident, the Bickslow and Natsu incident, everything, had been spread throughout the guild. Mortified faces greeted me the morning after my first session with Porlyusica. But over time, people have coped with the fact that I am messed up, and that I am eagerly searching for help.

"Lisanna, are you really ok with this therapy idea? If you are at all uncomfortable, you don't have to agree. No one is forcing you-"

"Mira, if this will stop the images, the nightmares, everything, I am willing to try it," I cut her off, reassuring I wanted to go through with it.

"Ok, if you say so," she squeezed my hand.

"Hey, look on the bright side. If this works, I'll be one step closer to the Lisanna you all love."

"We love you anyway you are, if you are struggling with depression, or if you are as happy as can be," Elfman stated. I smiled slightly, earning one back from each of them. I held my arms out, Mira falling into them and Elfman getting up, rapping his arms around both of us.

A tap sounded on the door frame, catching our attention.

"If I'm not interrupting, can I talk to Lisanna?" Bickslow asked nervously.

"I don't think so," Mira and Elfman were about to go off.

"It's ok, guys. Sure," I pushed up from where I sat and followed behind Bickslow. He led me out side of the hall, standing off in an alley right off the main road. "What's up?"

"Uhm, well, I haven't gotten the chance to talk to you since.. that night," he looked at the ground.

"And?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, for just showing up out of no where. Laxus explained what happened between you and Natsu at your birthday dinner. I wish I hadn't gotten so caught up in everything Natsu said, but I guess I was just jealous that he had your attention more than I did."

He still hadn't made eye contact with me yet, which was slightly pissing me off, but just what he was saying was pushing me over the edge.

"You got so caught up that Natsu had my attention? Bickslow, who did I kiss, you or Natsu? Who made sure I was back at the hall safely, you or Natsu? Who told me they loved me too when I said I was falling for them? It certainly wasn't Natsu, was it? When someone tells you their true feelings, you shouldn't take them lightly or toy with them."

"It wasn't intentional, I needed time to think about it all-"

"Think about what? All you had was Natsu's side of the story, you wouldn't even stick around for mine. You saw the state I was in, you were there when Bacchus drilled into my head that I was the reason Cana committed suicide, you knew my mental state was thrown off, and you still left me, no explanation whatsoever. You were the wall that stood up to those thoughts, even if there were some holes, you kept them out for the most part. Imagine what it was like to have that wall fall and leave you defenseless, allowing everything to attack at once. Not only did the thoughts from before swarm, but also me questioning what I did wrong, what was wrong with me that no one would stick by my side. And now you are back expecting me to run back into your arms?"

"I was a mess, too. What about me? I've loved you since we were young, I thought I had finally won your heart, and then to have Natsu tell me that you might just be using me for your own benefit, and that I may get hurt, I didn't know how to react. You've been the only person I have ever loved, and will ever love. Lisanna, I made things worse, but is it possible to take back a train wreck? Together, we can try to fix each other."

I pursed my lips. He had finally locked our eyes, passion flowing through them.

"I'm almost insane with the memories I have experienced, the traumatizing events that have taken place recently. My issues can't be fixed, and love and all that crap won't just magically solve all my problems, so don't try to play that card on me."

His gaze fell to the ground, it seemed to him like he had lost.

"But, overtime, I may be able to put some pieces of myself back together, and forgive you. So for now, lets just start out again as friends and work back up to a relationship."

His head shot up, hope radiating off of him.

"Do you mean it?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes. If we can get past this, one step at a time, then the 'us' thing may be possible in the future."

"I would love to start over. New me, new you, everything will be different this time, I promise. I'm happy you are giving me a second chance," he smiled brightly at me.

I smiled back, "I am, too."

*Fin*